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Know a girl who you find attractive and think of asking her out?
You don’t know how to do it since you haven’t tried it before (or you’re just not good asking girls out.)
And you worry you will make a mistake and it will all end up being awkward.
Perhaps you’ve already talked and wanted to ask her out but didn’t know how to phrase things nicely.
You even had the whole plan in your head, but when you were about to say it, you backed out the last second.
If that sounds familiar, I’ve got some good news for you.
Because by the time you finish reading this piece, you should be able to ask her out (and get it out of your system.)
And if you seriously consider applying what you learn here, you’ll probably get her to say ‘YES’ as well, even if you’re shy and have never asked a girl out before. (Notice the all caps.)
In the next few moments, I’m going to give you a set of steps you can take that will not only allow you to ask her out but also help you get her to say yes.
Furthermore, I’m going to provide you with a list of things you should remember when you’re asking any girl out.
Before we continue, I’d like to know a few key things.
Knowing this will help you greatly in getting her to agree.
And will let you know in advance how well things will go for you when you ask her out.
The first one may be quite obvious but easily forgotten and missed.
You want to know this before you ask her out because your chance of getting a yes from her and taking her out a date hangs on this thing called availability.
You guessed it!
In this article:
- Is She Single?
- Is She Interested In You?
- Signs She Wants You To Ask Her Out
- What’s Stopping You From Asking A Girl Out?
- Asking Her Out Is Not A Big Deal!
- How to Ask Girls Out Via Text
- You Don’t Want Her Confused
- I Like Where You’re Going With This
- Asking Her Out In Person
- Don’t Make It Awkward For Her
- Subtly Give Her Reasons to Say Yes
- The Key To Getting A Yes
- Go Ahead And Ask Her Out
- Dates and Date Ideas
- Please Remain Calm
- She’d Love To Go Out With You
- Be Sure To Plan Your Date
- Dos and Donts of Asking Girls Out
- In Closing…
Is She Single?
You have to know if she is single or in a happy relationship with another guy (or gal).
Her availability is like a wide moat filled with fireproof crocodiles from outer space and could potentially keep her from going out with you.
On the contrary, getting this information should be simple.
Want to hear a practical idea?
If you’d just met her, you can ask her this one simple question: “…I was wondering — are you single?”
This question does two things for you:
First, it will quickly let you know if she’s married, has a boyfriend, or yes, in fact, she is single and ready to mingle.
Knowing this should help keep you from wondering if you can ask her out so you can save your effort for another girl.
Second, it will let her know you’re interested in her romantically — not just as “friends.”
Of course, you can forego asking her this question if you know she’s single — because little birds whispered it in your ears.
Or perhaps you matched her through a dating app, or you don’t bother because that’s just how you roll.
Either way, the next question I want to ask next is this:
Is She Interested In You?
Now, this is a big one.
Because, even when you know that she’s single — if she has no interest in going out you, your chance of getting a date out of her is slimmer than your chance of going to Mars in your underwear.
You can kiss going out with her goodbye.
However, if she likes you even just a tiny bit, she’ll be less likely to deny you the pleasure of taking her out on a date or at least give you a fighting chance to get a few kicks in.
In fact …
Just by asking a girl (who also wants to go out with you) confidently, you’ll almost always get a sweet yes from her lips — the sound of heavenly music in your ears I presume.
So don’t try to go in blind so you can avoid getting turned down without even understanding the reason why.
Find out if she’s interested in going out with you before you ask her out.
Want to know how?
I knew you would.
Here’s what you should do: Pay attention to her non-verbal cues
I know. Genius, right?
The list below will help you find out how things will go for you when you ask her out and minimize your chance of rejection because you’ll know if she wants you to ask her out.
Signs She Wants You To Ask Her Out
- She always seems to be around: When she makes an effort to spend time with you. When she doesn’t seem surprised when she bumps into you. When she then gives you a smile that brightens up her whole face because she’s genuinely excited and happy. When she’s almost always there when you hang out with your common friends. When she’s so drawn to you that she’ll try to minimize the space between you and sits close to you.
- She thinks highly of you: And because of that, you get preferential treatment. And because she thinks you’re a great guy, she gives you compliments for the smallest reasons then lets you know that any girl would be lucky to have you.
- She pays extra attention to you: She listens attentively and hangs on to every word you’re saying. Asks follow up questions. And spends time talking to you for a long while even when she’s busy.
- Her interests align with you: She just happens to be also into the same series and hobbies. Turns out you have tons of stuff in common. Now you two have a lot to talk about.
- You’re hitting her funny bone: And you’re not even that funny. She just seems to laugh at whatever you say. She finds you funny. Why? Because she’s nervous and she’s into you.
- She touches you: But this only happens to you and not every other guy.
- Her friends seem to know you: Because she can’t help but tell her friends about you and make you the topic of their conversation more than once. If you hear them say how good you two are together, that’s because she’s been telling them nice things about you.
- She’s not-so-subtly hinting for you to ask her out: Like when she asks for your weekend plans; mentions when she is free and not busy; she asks you if you’ve ever been to this new place and that date spot; she has tickets for a show or game and asks if you’re interested.
When a woman wants you to ask her out, it won’t be that odd if she seems upset if you already made plans this weekend, especially if that plan doesn’t include her.
She may even suddenly act annoyed, goes cold, and keeps her messages short — VRY shrt.
And if the girl is shy — she’s giving you that longing look mixed with some awkwardness, then acts flustered and quickly looks away the moment she noticed you looking at her direction — you’ll have to take the lead even more.
(This book tells you more about shy girls.)
The message here is simple: If the signal is clear, don’t chicken out.
Could there be something that’s keeping you from making your move?
What’s Stopping You From Asking A Girl Out?
If the thought of asking her out stops you cold in your tracks and just thinking about it freezes your soul because you can’t stop thinking that something will go wrong, you’re probably worrying too much.
Don’t add unnecessary pressure on yourself.
Asking Her Out Is Not A Big Deal!
After all, the worst that can happen is she says ‘no.’
What’s more, a woman will not hold it against you for asking her out, even if she is not excited about the idea of going out with you.
As a matter of fact, she’ll respect you more for having the balls to ask her out, regardless of whether she agrees or not.
Even if she hasn’t considered going out with you, just your confidence alone for asking her out will lead her to see you in a different light.
However, if you lack the necessary confidence to talk to a woman in general, there’s no way around it other than to build it up. Go here to learn how.
And if what’s holding you back is that you don’t know what to do, if you’re looking for the best way to ask a girl out, I’ll give you several options right below.
How to Ask Girls Out Via Text
One of the most common ways in asking women out today is through, you guessed it, texting!
It’s easy, it’s fast, and it won’t hurt that much when she turns you down.
If you have her number, you’re likely to go down this route.
As long as you know how it’s done, sometimes all you need is 3 simple texts to get a girl to meet you someplace.
When you can do that, asking a girl out on a date is like ordering a pizza:
Quick, efficient, and painless.
What’s more, you can ask several girls at the same time; texting gives you this ability.
So even if every other girl you invited is busy, all you need is one to give you the green light — and you can make sure you have a date that day (as described in Text That Girl when you master the game).
Given all that, I’m afraid you’d think texting is the holy grail of asking a girl out.
You Don’t Want Her Confused
Sure, you can craft a near-perfect message and impress her with your wit, given enough time.
However, aside from being impersonal, texting is also open to interpretation.
What I’m saying is that when it comes to asking a girl out, you don’t want her to be confused, for which many are apparently susceptible to.
Just as a recent survey illustrates, close to 70 percent of singles are not sure whether an outing was a date or not. Bummer!
So for your intentions to be clear, resist the urge to be vague at an attempt to dodge rejection.
Instead, make your intentions as clear as day and let her admire your confidence.
Don’t say, “Let’s hang out,” which can have her wondering if you mean as “friends.”
Leave no room for misunderstanding and use something like, “I’d like to take you out…” to let her know you’re asking her out for a date.
In fact, since some women find it hard to figure out if a date is a “date,” they’d rather have you call her to ask her out.
And, phone calls — when girls are so used to texts, snaps, chats, and tweets — makes you stand out.
I Like Where You’re Going With This
I know it’s not that creative or romantic like recording yourself and stuffing it in a teddy bear before handing it to her, but asking a girl out doesn’t have to be.
Though I like what you’re thinking, that’s unnecessary at this stage of the relationship.
After all, you’re only asking her out, not asking her to move in with you.
I suggest you save creating special moments when you’re inseparable or when she leaves things at your place.
Now then, before you proceed, clean up nicely: smell nice and dress like you value yourself.
How you present yourself are hints women use to tell how well you respect yourself.
So be sure you look clean, fresh, and radiating self-confidence because you’re …
Asking Her Out In Person
Face to face is the preferred way of asking a girl out. Why?
Because you can easily gauge her level of enthusiasm from all the crucial body language signals you pick up when she’s in front of you.
Her body language alone can tell you how she’s feeling from the way she looks at you, the way she smiles, or the way her face lights up like a Christmas tree when you invite her out.
Sure, it can be a nerve-wracking (or a fun and exciting) experience if you haven’t done it before since there’s the potential for awkwardness, embarrassment, and rejection.
If you don’t have her number or if your interactions with her are just chit chats or small talks or if you haven’t got the chance to really know her yet and …
… Unless you want the easy way out — dropping a note, asking her out in person pretty much becomes your only ticket to the moon.
Where were we?
Right, if you just met her, you can use this flow for attracting a girl and getting to know her so you can ask her out or get her number.
Use it as a guide to having a purposeful conversation with her as you get to know her, not as a rigid strategy plan you have to follow to the letter.
When you get to that point when you’re about to ask her out, keeping it simple is best.
More on this in a moment. But first…
Don’t Make It Awkward For Her
When you’re thinking of asking a woman out, timing it right is just as important as how you ask her out.
The wrong time to ask her out is when she’s busy, furiously working on something and don’t want to be interrupted, walking fast and in a hurry to be somewhere, stressed out and having a tough day, or even when she seems sad or deep in thought.
Additionally, you don’t want to ask her out at places where she doesn’t expect to be approached by a guy, like when she’s working out with her headphones on or when she’s already in a conversation with someone.
In short, be aware of the time and situation where your advances are welcome and it’s convenient to talk to her.
Generally, it’s better to talk to her when she’s alone, not when she’s with her friends, family, or other people around.
Because this will allow her to give you an honest answer and not have the thought at the back of her mind that her friends are judging every action she makes.
(If she’s just with her poodle, then don’t worry about it judging her.)
And as opposed to asking her out in front of the whole school, you can make her comfortable and respected just by not being random and making things awkward for her.
As you get her comfortable enough to be more open with you, you can then start to …
Subtly Give Her Reasons to Say Yes
You want her to say ‘YES’, yes?
Let me hear you say it.
So make her want to spend more time with you. Warm her up to the idea of going out with you.
Take some time to get to know her, get some connection going, and then create anticipation for the good times to come.
if you don’t know her at all, you’ll want to get to know her for a bit.
Ask her some questions about her hobbies, her dog (or cat), places she’d been — simple questions that allow you to learn more about her and lets her know you’re interested in her. (Go see this for topics to talk about.)
Your conversation with her doesn’t have to be long.
As long as you can show her that she can have a great conversation with you, if you can show her how much fun she’ll have with you, she won’t be against the idea of spending a few more hours alone with you.
In fact, if you can get her comfortable and excited and like what she’s having now, she’d probably love to go out with you when you ask her out.
Because she’ll know what to expect: a great date.
After all, if you think about it, a date is just an extension of what you’re having with her now.
So be casual and chill about asking her out. Talk with ease in your normal talking pace the same way you’d talk to your friends.
Nonchalance is key
Don’t make seem like you don’t get dates.
Don’t rush it, don’t be desperate, and don’t get nervous as it will only bury your personality somewhere where the sun doesn’t shine.
When you talk to her, look into her eyes, not on the ground, or have your eyes darting nervously all over the place.
Smile and talk as if you’re talking to your friends. Don’t mumble to yourself with something incomprehensible.
Here’s a tip if you want to sound natural:
You can record and listen to yourself so you’ll know how you’ll sound and how your approach will go ahead of time. Mirrors are also useful.
Remember: you want to maker be comfortable with you — and how can she do that if you’re not?
This is important as water is to a fish if you want her to agree to go out on a date with you when the right moment to ask her inevitably comes.
The Key To Getting A Yes
As you’re talking to her, there will be a point in your conversation that will make it almost a sure bet when you ask her out.
That point is when you strike.
How do you recognize when the time is right? It’s simple; you won’t miss this when you’re present in the moment.
Because as you’re warming her up, building a good vibe, the interaction will reach a high point, if you do things right.
And it is this: when she’s most enjoying the interaction with you.
You can tell because …
She’s telling you about herself, she’s laughing, or she’s looking at you like you’re some kind of rare delicacy.
When she’s enjoying your company and happily talking with you is the right time to ask her out, not when the conversation starts to fizzle out nor when it’s just beginning.
As an aside, if you don’t have confidence in making her giggle at your jokes, you should check this out. It can help you discover your funny bone.
So get the good feelings coming.
Go Ahead And Ask Her Out
When you’re asking a girl out, be sure to have something in mind so you don’t put yourself in a situation where you have to stop and think about it on the spot.
One of the best ways to ask her out is to tell her something fun, where you’re already going, and then ask her to come along.
That way, there will be no pressure on her because you’re not putting her in the spotlight.
You can give her a bit more reason to entice her.
Maybe tell her how she’ll miss out on the best ramen noodle that’ll ever grace her palate.
Tell her what she’ll get out of and why she’ll enjoy going out with you.
Dates and Date Ideas
Keep your dates simple. Why?
Because most women don’t like a fancy formal date too soon.
So if you want her to magically disappear in the early stages of getting to know each other, show her some big romantic gesture and make it intense.
However, if you want her to go out with you, remember that dates at this stage are for you to get to know each other.
Rather than a crazy date, invite her out to a relaxed date where you can talk and learn more details about her while still having fun.
You should be able to hear each other, be able to focus on her and not get distracted by what’s happening around you.
Lunch, a cup of the world’s best coffee, a picnic under a giant tree, art exhibits, museums, beach, cafe, quiet bar, and your place are some of your choices for a simple date.
If you want more date ideas, three hundred more, check this out.
If you don’t know what she likes, keeping it simple also avoids the chance of her not wanting to do an activity you suggested.
You don’t want to get turned down because of that.
So also consider her interests.
If you know her enough to know what she likes and she trusts you well, ask her out to do something you know she’ll enjoy.
If she enjoys nature, then take her on a walk in the park. If she’s into wine, a wine tasting it is.
When you’ve said what you wanted to say, close your lips and open your ears so you can hear her reply.
Please Remain Calm
First of all, don’t panic.
Whatever you hear from her next, stay cool.
Remember: it’s not a big deal.
So in the unlikely possibility that she turns you down, don’t make a big deal out of it, act hurt or feel bad.
Don’t pressure her, don’t be pushy; just be understanding. Otherwise, she’ll feel uncomfortable or creeped out and awkward the next time she sees you.
Rejection is a normal thing to happen and people get rejected every day. When it happens to you, take it as a learning experience.
Getting rejected is not personal because it doesn’t say anything about you personally.
Continue the conversation as if nothing happened. Even though it can be hard sometimes, don’t show disappointment either.
Tell her it’s not a problem and you understand. Then thank her for her honesty and just continue with what you’re talking about.
Staying composed and friendly is how you handle rejection with grace.
Because some girls don’t know how you’ll react, they will not even directly reject you.
Instead of a hard rejection, she may smile politely, say thank you, maybe later; or look distracted and say she has to get back to her friends soon.
Unless it’s a particularly harsh rejection, you can make her laugh on your exit. And if she laughs, you can try asking her again after a week for one simple reason:
Persistence is attractive to women.
This is what guys use, guys who women thought they’d never go out with, to get dates.
On the other hand (and probably what will indeed happen) when you ask a girl out and she says…
She’d Love To Go Out With You
When you hear her say ‘yes’ or agrees to go out with you in some other way, you’ll still do the same thing above:
You will still remain cool.
Remember, asking her out is not a big deal. You may be excited right now but try to remain normal when you get her to agree on a date with you.
Don’t freak out, don’t be awkward or weird; and don’t make a fool of yourself by going for a victory lap or something.
You don’t want her to rethink the decision she just made of going out with you.
Don’t give her any cause for concern and just continue the conversation to talk about details.
You’d want to ask what’s her schedule is like in the week you want to see her. Why?
Because if you suggested a day and she has other plans for that day, what do you think would happen?
Then you’d have to ask her to suggest a better time instead.
So before making any concrete plans, know the best time for her and…
Be Sure To Plan Your Date
If you’re going to ask a girl and then take her out, be sure to handle everything about your date.
Most women don’t like to make the decision. They just want to relax and let you do the work.
And so long as they’re good enough, she’ll be happy to let you take care of everything.
So avoid saying you don’t know and then asking her what she wants to do. Everything about it should be your responsibility.
You, yes you, are the one asking her out, after all.
You want her to have a good time and not worry about anything.
So avoid being vague; know where you’re going and what you’re doing.
To sum things up, here are some…
Dos and Donts of Asking Girls Out
- Do be direct and straightforward about it. There’s no point darting around the fact that you’re asking her out.
- Don’t leave room for confusion or misunderstanding that might pop up about your intention. Be sure she knows you’re asking her out romantically, not as a friend.
- Don’t take a ‘no’ from any girl so seriously. It may suck at first, but it will free you up to find a new girl that much sooner.
- Don’t put too much pressure on her to say yes. Coming on too strong will only make her uncomfortable
- Do respect her time and ask her a week in advance if you’re thinking of concerts or something similar.
- Don’t make it awkward for her. Ask her out in private.
- Don’t make it a big deal of asking her out.
- Avoid saying you don’t know, then asking her what she wants to do.
I’ll leave you with this:
These are not rules for you to follow, just a simple guide to keep in mind as you ask girls out.
Don’t wait for the right time to ask her out either; you know a perfect time will never come.
Even if you are terrified something might go wrong, the worst that can happen is she says no.
Just internalize the fundamental steps you have to take.
No need to unnecessarily overthink things as it will only make it seem more complex than it actually is.
Instead, focus on making your interaction with her as smooth as you can so you can make your chances of landing a date with a gorgeous girl as high as the sky.
And once you’ve done it once, it will be that much easier the next time and the next time after that.
Because as you learn from each new experience of meeting a girl, getting to know her, and asking her out, you will continue to tweak your approach and discover what works for you.
P.S. Thanks for reading!
Still here? You are awesome!
Since You Made It This Far…
This tells me that you’re serious about improving your situation with that lovely girl that’s been running laps in your head.
So I saved most of the advanced stuff — used by the best seducers — for serious guys like you. It’s a series of tips and secrets you can use almost immediately.
I’ll wait for you inside.