How To Start Texting Shy Girls

start texting shy girls
She’s a little shy but texting a shy girl might actually be easier than talking to her.

These days it has never been easier to get in touch with the girl you like. 

If you want to get in touch with her over long distances, you’d normally use your phone and text her either when you want to get to know her or when you want to ask her out.

And when you know what to text that shows your attractive side, getting her out on a date can happen quite quickly.

Compare that to talking to a woman in person. Not only can it be nerve-wracking, but there are also potentially many things that can happen, like making a fool of yourself and getting rejected.

But there’s something else that can make trying to talk to a girl quite frustrating. And that is not all girls are very open to a conversation–the shy ones.

If you notice that she seemed shy and uncomfortable, getting her to open up a little can be a challenge.

That is why if you really want to text a shy girl, it’s important to know some aspects of her personality–so you know where she is coming from.

Before you text a shy girl know this

There are many reasons a girl can be shy. Shy might be self-conscious, so she holds back because she doesn’t want to be judged.

Shyness could also be because of a not very good childhood. She might not be very comfortable around people and may look at everyone with suspicion to protect herself.

Additionally, some parents can be over-protective. She could be one of those who never had friends over or weren’t allowed to go over to her friend’s houses or engage in activities with other people. As a result, she might not have the social skills to form deep relationships. 

Furthermore, introverts are not necessarily shy. There are girls who seem friendly, social, and outgoing who you might think as extroverted but are really introverted. The difference? Introverts get drained by crowds; extroverts thrive with other people. So not all introverts are shy, and shy girls can be introverts, too.

Texting a shy girl

Knowing all that, a shy girl may be more comfortable with texting you compared to talking in person. That means a shy lass may prefer texting you if she tends to lock up in face-to-face interaction.

And since texting is low stakes and gives her plenty of time to respond, you might find it can be easier to get her to open up in texts than in person.

She might be shy in person, but she can be different when you are texting her. You might be pleasantly surprised that you can text her normally like how you’d text other girls. And when you get to know her, she can be pretty easy to talk to. 

So don’t assume shy girls have nothing to say. 

They can have much to say. But when she doesn’t know you, she won’t be very talkative or willing to engage in small talk. They can be chatty around their friends. But to strangers, not so much. 

That means you have to put in much more effort and be patient if you want to text a shy girl. You don’t want to suffocate her with constant messages. Instead, you’ll want to ease it up a bit if you’re about to overwhelm her with your constant texting. 

Why you’ll need a bit of patience

You should know that it’s going to take a while when texting a girl who is very shy. You simply can’t rush things too much, or you’ll risk pushing her away. So if you want to start a relationship with her, get to know her, and don’t rush. 

You need to be patient texting a shy girl. Getting her guard down may take time, so you need to be consistent. If you want her to relax and be comfortable getting messages from you, invest some time getting to know her.

If she likes you, she’ll continue to engage you in conversations. 

But when you feel she starts to close off, you need to back off a bit and give her a bit of time. 

If she is also introverted, she may need a break from texting if you tend to message her too much. She might shut you out if you keep pushing her for more. When texting a shy girl, less is often better.

You should also follow good practices when texting any girl. 


Because you can never be sure how she is going to interpret your words. Some things like sarcasm can be easy to misunderstand. You don’t want to be taken the wrong way and offend her by accident, as she’ll start to ignore you if that happens.  

Hopefully, that won’t happen to you because you’re learning how to text girls the right way. 

What to text a shy girl

It’s not easy figuring out what to talk about with a shy girl. If you don’t know her, what can you text her? Well, no need to overthink this one. 

Get the context from how you met her and keep it simple.

How you met her usually decides what to text a shy girl. If you are friends, texting her will be quite different from someone who you met at a club, bar, or from a mutual friend. Your starting point is different, much like the information you know about her.

Just keep it simple and start with small talk. 

Don’t get too personal too quickly. Though you want to know who she is, you don’t want to be too personal too early. 

Keep things light and on the bright side of things. Save your deep questions with long-winded answers when you get to see her in person and when there’s much rapport between you.

You want to make getting to know her slow and steady, so don’t attack her with a barrage of questions. 

Don’t ask questions she can just answer with yes or no either. If you want her to talk and open up, that’s one of the worst things you can do.

Instead, use questions that make her think. Open-ended questions are your secret weapon. Someone shy won’t volunteer her information on her own. Use these questions as the conversation develops. 

As you slowly learn more about her and what she is into, pay close attention to her responses. 

Sometimes if an interesting topic for her comes up, it could ignite a good conversation. You should focus on that and go deeper by asking follow-up questions–so she has something to respond to. 

And, of course, you can also bring it up in future conversations when you’re with her in person. 

Another awesome way to start texting a shy girl is to ask for her suggestion. What’s good about asking for her opinion is that not only you’ll find what she enjoys you’ll also have something to talk about that might develop into a longer conversation. 

And if you want to do something together with her, asking for a favor opens up quite a few doors to get to know her better.

Here are other things to keep in mind:

  • Be friendly and open yourself. If you want her to open up, do it first and lead the way, or she’ll much likely put her guard up against you.
  • Compliment her. Everyone likes to feel good about themselves. Having her hear a compliment from you might just brighten up her day. But compliments don’t work if you don’t mean it. So don’t throw praise around if you’re not genuine with what you say.
  • Let her know she’s on your mind. Send good morning or good night texts to make her feel warm inside. These good night text messages can be quite effective when you get your timing right. However, don’t go overboard with this though, as it can be a little too much in addition to your conversations throughout the day. You may let her know she’s on your mind in many other ways.
  • Memes save the day. When you can’t come up with some witty words to say, funny memes might get you a laugh. 
  • Tease carefully. You’re interested in her, and you want her to be your girl. Of course, you need to flirt and tease her. But you need to make sure she’s comfortable with it and be sure to read her reactions carefully, especially when you’re texting a shy girl. If you’re not sure how she feels about you, the texting interaction might end there.
  • Keep it short. Don’t send essays to get your point across. When what you want to say is too long or too important to text, phone her. This can tell a lot about you. She won’t forget about you any time soon. 
  • Keep calm. Don’t get upset if a shy girl doesn’t always text you back. If she goes quiet–don’t panic. If you text her and she doesn’t respond, delay sending her another message. It can be hard to resist not bombarding her with questions about why she’s not replying. You’ll likely overwhelm her.

She could still be interested

If you text a shy girl, you might interpret her behavior as a lack of interest. However, the opposite could be true. Why? 

Because you can’t assume too much about a shy girl. Even if she’s not interacting as much as other outgoing girls. She may not be talkative, but that doesn’t mean she has no interest in connecting with you. She could be just a little anxious opening up. And it’s your job to get her to warm up to your magnetic messaging.

If she’s not that into you, she may just give you very short answers, ignore you, or tell you straight. So unless she says so or rejects you outright, there is still that chance that she is also interested in you.

Focus on her actions, and it can be obvious if you should fade away.

In summary

It can be a challenge to connect with a shy girl who isn’t fond of talking. It can feel like you always have to carry the conversation. But as long as you’re able to establish a good rapport with her, things just might get easier. 

In the meantime, keep texting her even if you have to do all the texting. And if you want a shy girl to open up, be calm and pleasant, so you don’t scare her off. 

As long as she’s warmed up enough to you, take the next step and ask her out. Don’t spend too much time texting her before you meet her in person. You don’t want to text her nonstop until she gets tired that, when you eventually ask her out, her interest has fizzled out. 

Avoid this potential disaster by always keeping in mind the right kind of texts that attract women.

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