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The line between flirting and friendliness can be confusing at times. If you fail to tell the difference, you’re not alone.
Flirty and friendly can look identical.
She’s laughing at your jokes, she’s touching you, and you’re having a good time with her but you’re not quite sure if she’s just being friendly or actually flirting with you.
Fact is, some girls are naturally friendly with everyone, no matter who she’s talking with. And it’s easy for some guys to assume this naturally friendly girl is flirting with them.
How do you tell if she’s into you?
The difference between flirty and friendly
There are differences between being friendly and flirty. It’s just that both men and women are bad at discerning the difference.
As a man, you’re more likely to overestimate her friendliness as sexual interest, while she assumes you’re just being friendly when in fact you’re flirting. (1)
It’s frustrating, I know.
It’s not easy to tell the difference between flirting and friendly when you don’t know her intentions.
Smiling, saying hi, casually asking questions, offering help, is when she is being friendly. She doesn’t go out of her way to make further conversation or give out extra details. She’s friendly and is nice to everyone. She doesn’t give other signs that she is interested.
Her interest is only on the surface.
If you don’t want to misread her friendly behavior as flirting with you, pay close attention.
Look for signs she is flirting with you
Well, if you know her personality and you’ve known her for a while, you’ll be able to tell whether she’s flirting with you or not.
But what about a new girl you’ve just met?
If you misread her being friendly as flirting, it can get awkward quickly. You’ll be embarrassed to face her and do anything about the current situation. And get discouraged from getting your expectations crushed at the same time.
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But don’t feel down so much, the situation is not as hopeless as you think. If she’s talking and paying attention to you and actually having fun with you, and you can still attract her, stir her neutral feelings of affection towards you.
But before that, you got to know whether she’s not yet attracted or flirting by reading her signs of interest and paying attention to her body language. You have to really observe her to do this. Watch for every little thing and don’t take anything for granted.
Like her eyes.
Know if her gaze mean something. It’s easy to tell if a girl is interested in you if you look at her eyes. From the ways she looks at you, to how long her gaze remains at you. And the effect of your presence will be reflected in her eyes no matter how subtle that signal may be.
And depending on the situation, if you can’t think of any other reason why she should be friendly with you other than fact that you’re a great guy who she can’t help but like and flirt with, odds are she really likes you.
But if you think about it and there’s a reason that she might be just trying to be nice and friendly, you got to back up a little and see what’s happening. Observe just a little bit longer or turn things to your favor if you’ve got the skills to do so.
One thing that can definitely tell if she’s the naturally friendly type is to watch how she interacts with other people and how she is with her friends. If she’s not doing any flirting like she does with you, then you know the deal.
Otherwise, if she’s a flirt with everyone and got your hopes up for nothing, you’ll know what to do next. And that’s to either raise your value and attract her if you’re still interested, or just let it go and enjoy yourself with other girls.
Either way, don’t linger. Attract women.
To help you recognize if she’s flirting or just being friendly, read the signs.
Flirting vs friendly: These signs tell you
Eye contact. Look for direct and prolonged eye contact. Sustained eye contact is a clear sign she’s interested romantically. The longer and the more intense a look that seem to say ‘I want you’, the more you can assume she’s not just being friendly but actually flirting with you.
And she’s just being friendly if it’s just a relaxed glance that implies cordiality.
Attention. When she acts as if you’re the only person in the room, she’s giving you her full attention, rarely distracted, and focused on you mentally, physically, and emotionally, she’s flirting. She makes a special effort with you, even if she’s friendly with everyone.
Watch for extra attention she gives you.
Deep Interest. Friendly conversation is usually casual conversation. It is different when she has an intense interest to get to know more about you to get close to you. When she ask something a bit more personal or asks if you’re dating anyone, you can bet she’s flirting.
If she’s not interested, she won’t bother finding out more about you. She’ll have plenty of questions and will ask you everything to get to know you better. And express interest in your answers and doing activities with you.
What’s more, she won’t limit the conversation to just that. Keep your ears open for naughty jokes or sexual comments. She’s not going to make suggestive hints like that if she’s not interested.
She’s single. She’ll tell you this. (Or hide her status if she’s taken.) If she wants you to start something, she’ll casually mention that she isn’t with anyone or tell you a story about her ex. On the contrary in a friendly conversation, she may mention her taken status (or her crush) in passing because she won’t care if you lose interest or not.
She may even drop hints that she wants to do something or go somewhere specific with you. Asking her out right then will get you a yes.
Proximity. She gets physically close, very close. She’ll even grab onto your arm or tap you. If her touch lasts a little longer or more than what’s expected among friends, it is likely she wants to be more than just being friends.
Friendly hugs don’t linger that long. And she won’t be touching your arm or hand if she’s not flirting.
Other nonverbal signs that tells she’s interested in more than just small talk. These all happen subconsciously which makes her body language is a dead giveaway.
You may also notice that she sticks with you. Even when she mingles with others, she comes back to your side. Again and again.
Do notice “accidental” touching and other subtle cues. These can be quite telling.
Observe how she is acting with you.
It can become difficult to tell if a girl is flirting or just being friendly when your internal biases tries to fill the gaps in the story. If you are interested in her, it’s very easy to read too much into things. Your mind desperately wants something to be there. You want her to want you, too.
Just because she’s being nice to you doesn’t mean you can tease her more so than you would towards a friend.
To know if a girl is friendly or flirting with you, look at the context and her level of interest in you.
As you try and flirt back, always pay attention to her behavior. If she tries to move things to a more friendly territory, you’ll get your answer.
If you are interested in a girl, it’s okay to ask her out. She’ll know you’re interested, and you’ll know if she’s interested. Making your romantic interest clear takes courage.
And as you know, confidence is aphrodisiac to women. So go for it!
Still here? You are awesome!
Since You Made It This Far…
This tells me that you’re serious about improving your situation with that lovely girl that’s been running laps in your head.
So I saved most of the advanced stuff — used by the best seducers — for serious guys like you. It’s a series of tips and secrets you can use almost immediately.
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