Ever had this experience before?
You meet a girl. You wanted to make a bit of connection so you start talking to her but, as the conversation goes on, you feel something doesn’t seem right.
She smiles and talks to you nicely and politely but… she’s not flirting back. And she’s proving hard to connect to.
It’s like she’s playing hard to get.
Seems like nothing is going to happen with this girl.What can you do when something like this happens? Move on?
Before you do that…
Here’s something you can try:
If you met her with her friends, and she knows you’re most interested in her, you can turn the situation by deflecting your attention away from her and onto one or more of her friends.
You see, when you show you’re interested in a girl who’s with her friends, you inadvertently bump her ego and feeling of self-worth.
And she likes this feeling of elevated importance.
She also knows that if she reacts by becoming flirty and shows obvious interest in you, she’ll lose the higher social value she has over her friends.
Therefore, she maintains her “unattainability.”
So, when you show her friends or anyone else more attention and affection, you…
challenge her ego
And in an effort to regain her superiority in her circle of friends, she will subconsciously invest much more interest by flirting and being playful with you.
She gives into wanting what she cannot have.
She feels an undeniable desire to get your attention and win you back when you deflect your attention to one of her friends
This also acts as proof that you are socially intelligent and also, makes you seem to not be trying too hard to get her (remember the law of least effort?).
And if you can win her friends over, her opinion of you will only become better.
She’ll be even more interested in getting some of your attention.
What if her friends are not around?
Even if her friends are not around, you can involve your friends in your interaction.
You don’t have focus and spend too much time on this girl you’ve only just met.
Another way you can do this is to have a wing man, (or a wing girl).
When you start a conversation with the girl, you can have your wing join in a few minutes later to give the interaction a new spark.
If you don’t have a wing for support, involve other people into the conversation.
For example, a third party you know will be around and available whenever you need to involve them is the barman.
If you’re in a bar talking to a girl, suggest getting a drink. Let’s just say you were debating about something you were talking about earlier. You can then decide to ask the barman for his opinion. Call the barman over, grill him on the topic with a slight smile on your face.
Or if there’s a couple sitting behind you, turn around. Wait for them to look up to see what you want. Ask them what they think about something.
This displays effortless
confidence and courage
Your social value goes up in her mind because a psychological comparison happens.
When she sees you talking to a stranger, her subliminal conclusion is that she has more of a connection with you. And by comparison and contrast, she feels more connection with you, making you more likable.
Use this to your advantage.
You can be indirectly flirty with her while talking to someone else and its power and effectiveness will be much better than if you said it one on one to her.
If you want to move on…
If you think she’s a lost cause or you’ve lost interest, turn around and start talking to other girls in the venue.
Talk to as many as you can and have a good time.
When you talk to other women, other women will see and your social value goes up.
It doesn’t matter if you’re succeeding
As long as you’re talking to her and looks like it’s going well from afar, you’re slowly building social proof.
Other women will mark you as high value and attractive.
Because women are more attracted to men who seem attractive to other women.
This works when you talk to a beautiful woman and she looks like she’s having a good time. And it shows that you handle yourself well in the presence of other equally or more attractive women.
So when you approach a beautiful woman, have a pleasant conversation without getting horribly rejected. If she looks like she’s having a good time talking with you, the women around will see it and subconsciously come in your vicinity hoping for an approach after you’ve finished the conversation.
This instantly helps you look more attractive and appealing to other women.
If a girl is not as warm as you’d like, use deflection to challenge her and make her want you. This will keep your social value high and boost the feeling of scarcity in her in her mind when it comes to getting and keeping your attention.
Spread the fun around and talk to other girls because what’s important is you’re having fun.
This is just one of the things to boost your game.
Much like how you use negative body language in the Tao of Badass to get her feel a sense of loss to make her chase, there are a lot more good stuff waiting for you to discover.