How To Approach A Mixed Group Of Girls and Guys

how to approach a mixed group of girls and guys

Here’s a scenario for you…

You’re with some friends–two guys, one female, and two other girls you only know a little.

Let’s just say they’re friends of friends.

You’re out socializing and having a good time when… a guy walks towards your group and starts a conversation with your female friend.

You can’t hear their conversation or what they’re saying but… you can tell he’s not asking for direction to the bathroom.

Time passes.

A couple of minutes later, as you glance back over, you see this guy still there talking to your female friend.

He’s hitting on her. He must be!

Most men would start to get a little annoyed at this guy who’s hitting on their female friend because he just barged in, thinking he can do pretty much what he wants.

And he’s practically ignoring everybody else like they’re air.

They may not say it out loud but no doubt that’s what’s in their mind.

They have no reason to like this unknown guy. If anything, they dislike him a little. After all, this guy randomly breaks into and broken up the dynamic of their group.

Surely, if this situation occurred in real life, this guy’s chances of attracting the female friend would be hindered by the girl’s guy friends.


Simply because he didn’t befriend them.

They’d probably thwart his efforts, interrupt his conversation with the girl or be socially hostile in some other way.

That’s not a position you want to be in.

Because when you’re not welcome in a group…
you’re in an uphill battle

Good thing there’s a better way of approaching a group of girls with their guy friends.

What you want to do is get the guys on your side first to get them out of the way.

How do you get the guys to be on your side?

Here’s how:

When you approach a mixed group of girls and guys, the guys in that group will be automatically evaluating you. They are looking for signs of respect or disrespect and if you will be a threat to them.

Best to do here, for the first few minutes, is focus on the girls and the guys in a similar way,

Be just as friendly, open, charismatic.

Talk to guys just as much you talk to the girls.

Introduce yourself to every single person in the group with a name and a handshake. Start with one of the guys and just work your way around the circle.

As a result, this should get all their attention and so everyone in the group gets the feeling that you are talking to them. You’ll avoid leaving anyone all alone and start feeling like you are stealing his or her friends.

Moreover, if it’s a large group…

Most likely you don’t know who’s with who

Sometimes the guys there will be a boyfriend and girlfriend, these guys responses may not be good in the first moment. They get kind of give that what-does-this-guy-want look or something like that.

Other times, they are just friends, a group of acquaintances from work or school. So it’s easier.

Just be nice with the guys.

It won’t be a problem for them let you talk to the girls.

The more general way to get to know is just to ask everyone, “So, how do you guys know each other?”

And, because people love talking about themselves. they’ll tell you who’s going out with who, where they work, who’s birthday it is, or what they’re celebrating.


Guys won’t mind another guy talking to their female friends as long as they think he’s decent and they like him. But if you come off as sleazy, they won’t like the idea of you talking to their female friends.

If you’re friendly and non-threatening, there’s a good chance they won’t mind.

Here’s something else…

One thing you should never do is put down another guy in the group while talking to their female friend, even when said jokingly. This just makes the other guy. the guy friend of the girl you’re talking to, of lower value.

Make them your friends.

It’s better that way because befriending them removes them as obstacles between you and the girl you’re interested in attracting. It also makes you seem genuinely friendly, confident and socially intelligent.

These are traits women find attractive in men.

When the girl see you can make friends with the people in their group, you demonstrate you are high value and a viable option as a mate.

One way to do that is to involve the guys with your games with the girls to spread the fun evenly.


Once you get the guys on your side, isolate one of the girls and focus on her more closely.

Remember, if you find yourself approaching groups of girls and guys, to increase your chance of building chemistry with the girls, adapt your style and method with groups.

Get the guys in the group to your side. Make them like you and enjoying your company. Then when you’re part of the group, you can be free to work on the girls and get them attracted to you.

Use your observational skills when you approach a group of girls.

Always be friendly and aware of dynamics in social settings because … some groups may not even be together at all and just random guys approaching.


If you don’t feel confident approaching mixed groups, see The Collection of Confidence on how to build your confidence step-by-step.



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