5 Tips to Avoid Looking Like You’re Trying Too Hard Attracting a Girl

When you meet a gorgeous woman, you want to impress her right?

You want to make her like you, to laugh at your jokes. So you give her your complete attention and hang on to every word she says.

gorgeous girl
She’s on to you…

You’ll even buy her drinks.

You try very hard, sometimes too hard, in fact, just to make a great impression on her.

But guess what?

Women want strong self-confident men. But in aiming to be the kind of man that women want, you end up trying too hard.

This turns them off.


Because the stronger you want to appear, by trying too hard, you end up looking weaker.

This usually happens when a man has a strong desire to impress an attractive woman.

He becomes too needy and too emotionally dependent on her approval.

So how do you defeat this need to try too hard?


Just play it cool

Here are some tips on how to play it cool:

1. Don’t feel the need to always agree with whatever she says, just because you want to get along and be on her good side.

If she says something you don’t agree with, don’t be afraid to say so or to question her opinions.

If you disagree with something she says, you can say so.

And if you agree with what she’s saying, that’s the time you can talk to her enthusiastically about it.

2. Don’t give her all of your attention.

Interact with other people and spread yourself around.

This will signal to her that if she wants more of your time, she’s got to make some effort to win your attention.

3. When you approach and talk to an attractive woman, be friendly and pleasant to her, as you are to everybody else.

You treat her like you would anyone when meeting them for the first time. You don’t try to be any funnier, more laid back, less laid back…or anything.

Don’t make it too obvious that you’re trying to attract her by showing too much interest too soon. You don’t reveal how much you like her.

You just don’t go out of your way to impress or instantly bond with the girl.

Instead, you treat her just like you treat everybody else because she is just like everybody else.

The pressure will be on her to impress you and not the other way around.

4. Watch your body language.

Be aware of common needy body language like leaning in too much which shows that you’re too attentive to what she’s saying.

Or fidgeting which shows that you are nervous about being found out or being rejected.


5. Beware of being outcome dependent where all you think about is getting the girl’s number or trying really hard to get her to like you and putting your emotions into the results.

Because when you put your emotions into the result, you just feel bad if you don’t get the result you want.

Like when a girl rejects you, your feelings shut down. And when you’re successful closing her, your feelings pump up.

The more dependent on the outcome you are, the less fun you’ll have.


Because you worry about getting a girl’s acceptance or validation, you become careful about saying the right thing, trying to impress her, being nice to her and hoping for a good outcome.

How can you have fun doing that?

It gets in the way of feeling “in the moment”.

So don’t think ahead about what will happen.

Don’t let your state and your feelings be determined by the way the situation ends.

Instead, approach and talk to her without expecting anything or thinking about what you will get from her.

Do the opposite.

And try to give her your feelings of excitement and fun.


Meet girls, have cool interactions, get to know them because you’re selective and have some standard.

Consider the whole process as a screening process.

Don’t attach your emotions to the outcome so your self-esteem won’t be harmed when you want to attract women.

And you won’t be trying too hard.

Just like how you use the least effort to get the girl to chase you described in How to Make Girls Chase.



P.S. Enjoying this post? Be sure to share it with your friends. I’d appreciate it a lot.

P.P.S. And if you want more tips, be sure to subscribe to my mailing list to get more advanced secrets to attracting women.


Since you made it this far…

I want to thank you for being a reader…

Click Here to Learn More ➔


Dave A.
Disclosure: My posts may contain affiliate links. That means if you buy something through one of those links, I will get a small commission — at no extra cost to you — on qualified purchases. You have my full appreciation for helping to keep this site up and going for all of us. You can read my full disclosure here.