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Thinking of asking a coworker out on a date?
So you are interested in a girl at work.
No surprise there.
Since you spend much of your time in the office, forming close bonds with your coworker happens a lot.
That bond could sometimes lead to workplace dating.
In fact, a survey of 5,795 people in the UK found that 22% meet their romantic partner at work. That means you’re more likely to meet your partner at work than in a bar, online, or even through friends. *
And, did you know that almost a third of office relationships result in marriage?
However, you should know that choosing an office mate for romance could be a source of potential gossip, job nightmare if things go south, terminations, and maybe even a lawsuit.
If you’re up to it and want to invite a coworker out on a date, you should know the path you’re treading.
Let’s get started!
Before Asking a Coworker Out
At least find out if she is single.
If you don’t know if your coworker is ready to mingle, there are a few ways you could check just to be sure you sidestep a potential embarrassment.
One way is through social media.
If you are friends with her on a social network, there will be obvious hints if she is looking for a date or if she is in a relationship.
Sometimes a quick check of her relationship status is all you need to do.
Aside from that, you can do some detective work and look around for clues of a current relationship in her posts and updates.
But, of course, the quickest way would be to ask her directly. At the same time, you’ll let her know you have a romantic interest in her — if she’s not aware already.
If you regularly talk to her, you just have to know how to subtly point the conversation in that direction, and she’ll bring it up or mention something about her relationship status.
That’s why it’s also a good idea, before you make a move, that you try being friends in and out of the office before you try dating a coworker. What you want to do is find out if this woman is someone you’d want to spend weekends with.
Since you’re working with her, this allows you to get to know her in a better way. You will see how she respond to a problem, act under pressure, and interact with other coworkers.
You could gauge her interest level in dating you at the same time. So you’ll know if there’s a chance it could work out between the two of you.
Perhaps she already likes you
- Is she more comfortable talking to you than other coworkers?
- Does she talk to you about things that aren’t work-related?
- Does she go out of her way to spend time around you and laugh at your jokes or tease you back?
Watch out for these potential signs.
Once you know if she’s available, next consider where you are going to ask her.
As with asking any girl out on a date, you should avoid putting pressure on her or coming out of nowhere.
So consider finding a relaxing place where you can be alone with her for a while, where you can start a quick conversation, before asking your coworker out on a date.
If you know what you’re doing and you know the pros and cons of dating a coworker, you know what to do and what to not do when starting an interoffice romance, then go ahead and ask your coworker out on a date.
Check out how below.
Asking a Girl At Work On a Date
When you’ve decided to ask her out, act like you normally would and don’t seem too eager.
Assume nothing and keep your expectations to a minimum — so you don’t get too attached to the outcome.
You should also have a plan before you make a move. Decide early on what you’d like to do with your coworker and where.
Is it coffee or drink after work?
Better yet, ask her to join you at something you’re already planning on doing. This makes it seem more natural and spontaneous when you bring it up.
An opportunity you can use to invite your coworker to go with you — if you already have a good rapport and make friendly small talk regularly — is when she asks you what your plans are for the weekend.
So wait for when you can have her full attention, like when she’s alone and not busy.
Begin with small talk, asking her how her weekend was or how her day is going.
No need to rush.
Then you can transition into asking your coworker out. You might say, “Well, I really enjoy talking to you. I’d like to chat more…”
And ask her what her schedule is like, then ask her out and iron out the details.
If your colleague says she can’t, be polite and don’t make things awkward.
What if she wants to think about it?
Then give her as much time and space as she needs.
You can see more details about asking girls out on a date here.
You may be excited, hopeful, and distracted — because passion can make it hard to function as a human being — but don’t forget the potential consequences.
Though it shouldn’t stop you completely, if you find yourself thinking about a coworker, you should also think about some of the things to consider before you start an office romance.
When Dating a Coworker
Can it work?
Sharing a common interest, having a relationship that began at work can bring you closer together.
But then again, maybe not.
- Consider your rank or position, as well as hers. Dating a direct superior, or subordinate is not a good idea. You could have problems with a promotion or harassment claims if things don’t work out. *
- Keep all of your business and personal communications separate. A business meeting or professional meeting is not a date.
- If you are inappropriate, you may be sued for sexual harassment.
- Check with the company if there are any policies related to interoffice relationships. Do they happen in your workplace all the time? If not, maybe that’s something to consider. *
Ask: Could this limit my career? Would I hate working here if things go south? Will it ruin the friendships I have in the office?
If you work separately in another dept, building, floor, then dating a coworker could be less awkward.
Carefully think about the pros and cons and the effect on your job and reputation.
If the potential consequences make you feel uneasy, you probably shouldn’t pursue the relationship.
To Wrap Up
As you’ve seen, office romances can be tricky.
You risk becoming awkward at work, creating office drama, or losing your job.
The success of starting a workplace romance will depend on you, your partner, workplace, and many other variables.
It’s up to you to weigh the pros and cons of an office romance.
Three things could happen: The relationship turns sour, and your career takes a beating; it ends, but you both don’t let the breakup affect your work, or things work out.
If you happen to develop a romantic interest in a coworker, know the risks, and proceed from there.
Once you’ve considered things and you’re excited to go out with her, follow the tips on how to ask a girl out.
Once your interaction with her becomes ripe for the picking, suggest a casual lunch or drinks after work.
It then becomes easier to build more comfort and connection with her, making it easier and natural to take the relationship to the next stage.
Thanks for reading!
If talking to a coworker or other women does not come easy to you, you should check this out so you can have effortless conversation with anyone.