Breaking up is hard to do. Lots of songs were written about breaking up with a girlfriend.
Breaking up with a woman can be a rough experience to go through, especially if you’ve been together with her for a long time and you know each other quite well.
Sure, avoiding it and saying nothing is easy. It is a difficult conversation to have. But it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to just disappear; it may come back to bite you down the line.
So be mature about it and save yourself the guilt.
Do it right
It can be one of the most uncomfortable conversations you’ll ever have. Sometimes it’s emotional and messy with lots of tears, noises, and flying objects. Not to mention people breaking down.
She’ll have questions which you won’t have the answer to.
But there are times when there’s mutual understanding that you need to go your separate ways. Doesn’t happen all the time, and even if it does, doesn’t mean it’s easy for both of you.
Either way, though it won’t be easy, it is important to do things right. So be prepared.
One thing is for sure, if you’ve already decided to break up with a girl, you gotta do it right and leave her better than when you met her.
Although it’s still possible to get your ex back after some time off; when you’re the one who broke it off with her it’s unlikely you’ll want her back or even a good idea.
So if you’re dead set on breaking up with a woman, and you’re certain your relationship can’t be saved, don’t wait for something unpleasant to happen before breaking up with her.
Don’t be an ass
End the relationship with her doing as little emotional damage as possible.
Even if the relationship hasn’t been that long, it’s still not acceptable to end things via a text message. Only being on a couple of dates doesn’t mean you can just stop communicating with her. Don’t run away.
Since the relationship is not that deep, you can talk to her directly and tell her your reason. Be polite and clear. You can assume she’s not going to be that upset with it.
Once you figure out that she isn’t the one you’re looking for, you can move on easily. You don’t have to explain why you’re not into her.
It’s common to have a change of heart after a few dates. This is common and happens all the time when you’re still in that getting-to-know phase of dating. So she’ll assume that’s what happened here.
However, once you develop a deeper emotional connection with your girl over a couple of crazy passionate months, the harder it will be to break up with her. You probably got used to seeing each other during the weekends and sleeping in each other’s place.
During those months, you may seem like you can’t stop thinking about each other, and can’t take your hands off of each other; you want to see, touch, feel, and be with her for the rest of your life.
But then you come to your senses and you realize there’s only uncertainty about continuing the relationship. Instead of the amazing girl you’re crazy for, you now see her as nothing more than a girl you know.
The longer you’ve been with her, the rougher it is to let her go since she got deep into your life.
When you want to break up from this kind of relationship, you have to do it in person because there are still those shared feelings you need to let go.
You don’t want it to come as a shock so you need to cushion the blow. But don’t beat around the bush. Get to the point. Be patient. And give her a chance to say what she wants to say.
Get her out to spend a few hours or minutes with you so you can tell in front of her personally. I know it’s hard but it’s the only right way to do it. It’s not a manly thing to break up with her on the phone or email. In fact, it’s rude and unacceptable.
And make sure she hears it from you first. Don’t talk about it to her friends where she can find out about it and things will start to get really messy and nasty.
Before you get to tell her, or even before you meet her, be sure you’re calm and relaxed. You want to be able to tell her clearly the truth about why you’re ending the relationship with her. You don’t have to make things complicated and drag things out one after another. You can prepare what you have to say.
Keep things simple
Just keep things simple and focused on your reasons for breaking up with her and ending the relationship. If you don’t see the relationship going anywhere if something isn’t working for you be honest about your feelings. However, don’t tell her something that would bring out her insecurity, hurt her feelings, and could backfire.
Break up with her at the right time and place where you won’t be interrupted while talking. Of course, avoid times when it’s a celebration where you’ll ruin a perfectly good day and make it worse every year.
She may not see it coming or know you’re unhappy in the relationship. Or she may know and see the writings on the wall. But you’re not sure how she’ll take it when you break up with her. Chances are she’ll get emotional. So have this difficult conversation with her somewhere private and safe, not on a crowded sidewalk.
Now, expect her to be angry, sad, or both. There may be tears, pleading, bargaining, and a lot of yelling. It’s perfectly fine to let her feel these emotions during this time. Let her do this now and don’t let her hold anything back. Don’t argue with her and let her release what’s on her chest. She may become resistant to the idea of ending the relationship.
You have to keep your cool through all this. You had the time to prepare for this; she hadn’t. So be considerate and gentle when you’re given the chance to be.
There’s no reason to make her feel bad about herself even when you’re leaving her. Don’t place the blame on either of you. Let her know that it’s not easy for you either.
Don’t take too long
It’s better to keep things short and let her cry if she wants. You’ve made your decision to break up with her and now it’s done. You can mourn the relationship and move on with your life.
When you enter a relationship with someone, you get to know each other, you develop strong feelings for each other. But over months or years, your thoughts change, your feelings change, and plans for the relationship change.
Every relationship is different. And even though the two of you seemed to be great for each other when it started, the relationship doesn’t seem to work. Don’t expect things to go well. It will hurt. But you need to provide her some comfort even though you’re telling her it’s over. Give her time and space to come to terms with the situation.
Prepare for it. It may last for hours and feels like you’re losing a part of yourself but it needs to be done. Communicate your feelings clearly and be understanding and receptive to her emotions.
You may not bounce back immediately, and that’s okay. So give yourself enough time for the feelings to fade. This may take a bit of time to sink in.
Have this conversation with grace. If you can walk away with respect for each other, having closure and clarity is the least you can offer a woman you once dated.
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