When You Run Out of Things to Say

Dave
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Even if you run out of things to say, it’s not the end of the world–or the conversation.

Cannot think of anything to say?

Just when you’re starting to get the hang of talking to a pretty girl and you feel like you’re making good progress and building a connection, you suddenly don’t know what to say.

When you run out of things to say, what comes after is silence.

An awkward silence.

And an expression of feeling lost and a sense of nervousness and uncertainty. You stutter and say filler words as she stares at you trying to understand what you’re saying.

Until she can’t take it anymore and says goodbye politely, leaving you disappointed but at the same time relieved that you get to live another day. And try again with another girl, and hopefully this time, you never run out of things to say.

So what can you do when you run out of things to say?

You can urge her to keep talking

Back up a bit, instead of losing hope when you run out of things to say… you could ask her a question — an open-ended one that requires more than a simple yes or no answer — and let her speak.

You can ask her lots of questions, too, to keep her talking.

That takes the pressure off of you and you get to relax a little, maybe for a while if she’s got a lot to say.

Just don’t be too aggressive with your questions like you’re doing an interview or an interrogation. And if you don’t want to fall into this trap, you can use simple techniques from conversation escalation instead of asking question after question.

Other than that, questions are great for moving a conversation along. It expands the conversation infinitely. With every explanation you get, you can pick out interesting details you can continue to explore.

That’s why it’s almost the wisest thing you can do to prepare a list of questions to ask when you run out of things to say. Like…

  • What’s your story?
  • What’s your hidden talent?
  • How do you spend your day?

You could write down your own 50 to 500 questions or you could get this book and have it by your side all the time.

Then you can take your time picking up great questions to ask when you can’t think of anything to say, and you can restart the conversation at your leisure.

Keep calm and carry on

Sometimes, you can just wait and say nothing.

No matter how awkward it feels, you must remain calm and unconcerned.

Ride the silence and don’t feel uncomfortable about it. More often than not, she’ll start talking and move the conversation along.

She’ll take the floor while you think of things you can say to contribute to the conversation. You don’t have to force things to happen, it’ll naturally take its due course and you’ll be amazed at how well it goes.

That should be enough time to stir the conversation to where you want to take it. Maybe something that happened to you during the day or a funny story you just remembered. Then you can something like, “That reminds me…” and go tell your story.

If you’ve polished your conversation skills, you’ll always have some interesting story to tell.

You’ll be able to pull out topics you know by heart while minding what to talk about with her. You’ll have it all in your head, and when or if ever the time comes that your brain comes up with nothing but air, you’ll have something handy to talk about.

Speak your mind

But probably the best thing you can do when you run out of things to say is to not hold back. Don’t get in the way of yourself having a great conversation with a girl.

We all have an inner critic. And it becomes a problem if you let it have too much “air time” in your head. This causes you to fear and hold you back from doing great things.

So instead of stopping yourself, set yourself free of your inhibitions.

Whatever comes to your mind, don’t filter it and just let it come oozing out. Speak your mind no matter how bold you may think it is. She is not going to think badly of you for babbling a little.

It’s worth talking about since your subconscious mind may have picked something up from your conversation with her that’s itching to get scratched.

Why you can run out of things to say

Most often you can run out of things to say because you try to filter what’s on your mind.

You want to avoid sounding boring, uninteresting, or uncool. In short, you can end up with nothing to say because you’re worried about the right things to say and what she’ll think of you.

If you don’t know what a girl finds interesting, it makes it hard for you to think of things to talk about.

You’re careful not to offend or say something wrong. So you don’t say what comes to your mind without thinking.

Or sometimes your brain farts and you’re left with air.

Hey… it happens.

You need to trust yourself and not think too much. You don’t have to sound clever all the time. And what you say doesn’t have to be brilliant either.

Whatever you have in mind at that moment is often good enough to continue the conversation.

Moreover, it helps to be curious about her.

Never run out of things to say

It can be awkward when you run out of things to talk about, but it doesn’t have to be. There are a few options for you to choose from if you stay calm and pay attention at the moment.

Communication doesn’t just involve words. Often you can talk about nothing and the conversation still moves along. Even silence is a part of a good intimate conversation. It doesn’t have to be awkward.

So, when you run out of things to say, remember these tips well and continue the conversation as if nothing happened. Sooner or later, it won’t be a problem for you and you’ll wonder why it ever occurred in the first place.

However, when you run out of things to talk about with your girlfriend, it’s a bright idea to try something new like going on an adventure with her and your dogs.

Or simply grabbing a new book to read so you can debate about it makes for an exciting morning. That could also be a topic you can talk to your girlfriend at night.

With these, I hope you can avoid wracking your brain on the spot when you run out of things to say to save the conversation from going deeper into the abyss of conversational hiatus.

Bonus: Most of the things we talk about in life are just observations and responses to certain stimuli. If you pay attention and focus, you’ll notice something you can talk about. It doesn’t even have to be “interesting” either.

Read next: How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say

 

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