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Some guys get stuck at going for the kiss.
Because they make a big deal out of it, they get nervous and screw it up.
If you know what I’m talking about, realize that you can create a situation where you can go for the kiss without making it awkward.
Unlike most men, you can avoid blowing it. And we’ll get to that in a moment.
But first, let me tell you more about kissing and why you want to not only make going for the kiss natural, but also why you should become good at it.
The cost of being a bad kisser
I won’t leave you in suspense.
You don’t want to be a bad kisser because bad kissing is a sexual turnoff for most women.
So whatever you did before you get to that point — the sexual attraction you created — will vanish after a bad kiss.
Just like that, and she says bye-bye.
What if you don’t kiss then, will that make it okay?
Well, according to a study, only 15 percent of women said they would consider sex with someone without first kissing them.
In fact, women use kissing as a test whether they should take things to the next level and have sex in a relationship.
Why do women put all this weight on kissing? Why does kissing seem so important to women when it comes to getting sexual with someone?
Well, as it turns out, kissing says something more about you than merely being good or bad at it.
It also conveys information about your health (as having bad breath can be a sign of disease or ill-health), whether you’ll be a good lover, genetic compatibility, and a basis of relationship quality. (1)
Since kissing provides this much useful information to a woman about whether she should take things to the next sexual level, you should go for the kiss when the chance presents itself.
What’s more, kissing can also increase sexual excitement, feelings of euphoria, and a sense of emotional closeness.
All good in my book.
And one study found that kissing caused a drop in cortisol, a stress hormone, indicating a reduction in anxiety — another excellent reason why you should go for the kiss if you’re feeling nervous.
Before going for the kiss
But before we get to the good part of going for the kiss, some things need to be said, as kissing her can make or break your sexual chances with her.
This might be obvious to you, but to some, it could be a lifesaver.
So before you go kissing someone, here are some things to make going for the kiss a smooth experience…
First, make sure you and your breath smell good.
To make sure you do, brush your teeth and take a shower. After brushing your teeth and tongue, floss.
And to keep your mouth moist and fresh, have some water. If you had some stinky foods, mint or a piece of gum will help get rid of the smell.
To make your lips kissable, you need to keep them free of dryness, rough spots, or dead skin. A regular regimen that won’t take much of your time will keep your lips soft and kissable… and more appealing to women.
After you’ve prepared your mouth and everything around it, next is to mentally prepare yourself for what’s about to happen.
If you don’t want to be interrupted, you also have to consider your location. It should be where you won’t have many distractions or be worried about other people.
Women don’t want to be seen as having loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous. (2)
So make sure that nobody sees what you’re doing, especially if it’s the first kiss. It should be a private affair in a private setting.
A quiet and secluded place will also make it so that you both can concentrate on each other. And the fewer people know what you’re doing, the more comfortable she feels with you and with your attempt to go for the kiss.
If you’re in a movie, for example, that’s the seat in the last row where nobody can see you.
Next, you want to subtly let her know that you want to kiss her and, at the same time, you want to be certain she wants to be kissed.
How to know if she wants to be kissed
Most women will know when you’re going for the kiss — if you let them know. Of course, you want her to know it’s coming, but not by telling her verbally.
You let her know through touch.
You go from the light friendly touch to a more intimate touch, which in this case, is a kiss. Doing this will warm her up and build up the expectation, so she becomes comfortable, and it doesn’t feel awkward when you make your move and go for the kiss.
You can begin with lightly touching her elbows, putting your hand on her back, or holding her hand while you’re occupied with something.
If you’re sitting next to each other, move closer so your knees, legs, or arms are touching. Touch her arms or shoulders, or gently put your hand on her thigh.
You can also start tickling, teasing, poking, or other ways to touch her hand or arm to show that you want to kiss.
You also want to build some anticipation for the kiss. And she’ll let you know through her body language if you can kiss her.
Kissing requires two pairs of lips.
So look out for signs she wants to kiss you, too, before you make a move.
If she’s touching you back, looking into your eyes, smiling, biting her lips, or staring at yours, these are all good signs pointing you to go for the kiss.
On a side note, when you’re at that stage where you can hone in on a woman (who wants to be kissed) from a distance, kissing a girl in 40 seconds or less will be in your realm of possibility.
Like I said, when you’re close enough, and you are getting good signs of interest from her body language, and nothing goes wrong… you can continue to escalate.
Caress her cheek with your hand. Run your fingers through her hair. Hold her head before the kiss. And look deep into her eyes.
- Meston, C. M. (2009). Why Women Have Sex (pp. 94–95). Macmillan.