8 Mistakes to Avoid When Complimenting a Girl Over Text

When you want to compliment a girl over text, the last thing you want to do is come across as “creepy.”

Instead of making her feel special and appreciated, you make her feel uncomfortable and uneasy.

Instead of making her like you, you unintentionally insult her.

Instead of making her day, you cause its ruin.

If you don’t want your compliments to go wrong… you need to know and avoid some common mistakes when complimenting a girl over text…

So your well-intentioned compliment does not turn into an awkward situation.

As you know, texting can easily be misinterpreted. Why?

Because without body language cues, your words alone would carry the weight of your intentions.

So you need to tread carefully and keep these few common pitfalls in mind so your compliments are well-received.

Here is the first one you should pay attention to:

Generic and vague compliments

Saying the same thing everyone else says is lazy and unoriginal. 

When you tell an attractive girl she is beautiful, she has probably heard that compliment a “gazillion” times. 

Compliments she has heard too many times before can feel empty because they lack depth and sincerity.

Resorting to a generic compliment that you could use on anyone can mean that:

• You didn’t take the time to know her; 
• You’re not really interested;
• You don’t really mean what you say; and, 
• You’re just saying that to flatter her.

I am not saying that generic compliments don’t work. It is still a compliment; albeit a tired and overused one. That means it will not have an “impact” or make any lasting impression on the girl you like. 

In short, it will not help you form a deeper connection with her.

Additionally, clichés and overused compliments can sometimes be seen as cheesy or corny or trying too hard to be flattering.

TIP: If you don’t want to come across as cheesy or over the top, focus on her personality traits or accomplishments, her intelligence, sense of humor, and creativity. 

You can also appreciate her taste in music, books, or movies. And, of course, come up with a compliment she has not heard before on exactly what you appreciate about her.

Next is…

Complimenting her way too much

If, at first, you think it might be a good idea to shower a girl with flattery, I want you to think again.

Complimenting her too much not only overwhelms her, it can come across as insincere — even if you genuinely mean it. Why? 

Because the more often you hand them out, the more meaningless they become.

Overdo it and you might make her question your intentions and make her wonder if you are making fun of her.

Then she will get tired — and bored — of you and the praises you sing.

You also have to keep in mind that some girls don’t respond to compliments well. When you overwhelm her with compliments, she might not know how to react. She may feel uncomfortable, uneasy, or awkward.

So when does complimenting a girl become too much? How do you know you are overdoing it?

When does genuine appreciation cross into overwhelming attention?

Simple.

Look at her reactions to your constant shower of exaggerated compliments.

Instead of bombarding her with compliments that make you seem insincere, why not have a genuine conversation? Talk about other things like her life, thoughts, and experiences.

Another thing you don’t want to send her way is…

Inappropriate compliments

Appreciating a woman’s physical appearance is fine.

But if you overemphasize and focus solely on her physical attributes, your compliments can come across as shallow.

And when your compliment makes her uncomfortable, harassed, objectified, or threatened, it can become “inappropriate.” 

That can happen when you send her remarks that are overly flirtatious or explicit, overly personal or suggestive, or overly assumptious.

Certain compliments can be sensitive, too. 

Like those that touch on sensitive topics like physical insecurities which can make a woman self-conscious.

That is why compliments about her weight, body shape, size, or even age can be potentially offensive.

How then do you appreciate a girl’s appearance without being creepy?

If you want to compliment a girl over text without coming across as creepy, avoid objectifying comments about her appearance or body.

And be sure to avoid overly suggestive or sexual comments.

That way you can acknowledge her appearance and show genuine admiration in a more appropriate way.

For example, you can compliment specific aspects of a woman like her style, confidence, and the way she carries herself.

You can also be more thoughtful of your compliments.

And be mindful of her comfort level. 

Why?

Because if you want to ensure your compliments are welcomed and whether your compliment is deemed appropriate or not, depends a lot on her comfort level.

This is especially so if you are unfamiliar with each other or you don’t know her that well.

Because even though you mean well, your compliments to a girl may still come across as inappropriate when you don’t pay attention to the context and nature of your relationship.

So another common mistake you need to avoid when complimenting a girl over text is…

Presuming over-familiarity

A compliment like “You look stunning in that dress. I can’t stop thinking about you!” may be well-received and accepted in a romantic relationship.

But it can be awkward and unsuitable if you just met her and have just started getting to know each other.

So you must choose a compliment appropriate to the level of relationship you have with the woman you want to compliment.

When you are just getting to know each other, start with general and lighthearted compliments. Reserve compliments that are too personal and intimate when your relationship with her goes deeper. 

Also, if you haven’t known the woman for very long, you do not know what type of compliment she likes or even how she responds to compliments.

Therefore, it is always best to gauge your familiarity and comfort with her before you give a compliment to a girl via text message or even in person.

If a girl doesn’t seem to respond well to compliments, shift the conversation to something else she may be more comfortable discussing.

Building trust and comfort takes time, so don’t rush the process. And please avoid…

Ignoring potential red flags

As part of the conversation, a well-received compliment can help you build rapport with a woman.

A failed compliment, on the other hand, hampers the conversation because it can make the woman feel discomfort or awkwardness.

Therefore, you want to make sure your compliments are not failing you and coming across as disingenuous or even offensive.

If you notice potential red flags, don’t ignore them. Instead, adjust your approach accordingly.

For example, if a girl responds in a way that seems overly defensive or dismissive of your compliment, it could indicate that she is not comfortable getting compliments — or may have low self-esteem.

The same goes with…

• If she consistently deflects or downplays the compliment;
• If she changes the subject or steers the conversation away from compliments;
• If she responds with short, one-word answers;
• If she suddenly stops texting back. 😲

This could mean that she’s not sure how to respond or doesn’t want to talk about it.

And could even suggest that she’s not interested in building a deeper connection.

When doling out compliments, keep in mind that what may be seen as a compliment by one person may not be appreciated by another.

So if you want your text conversations to go well gauge her comfort level and consider if she genuinely appreciates your compliments.

Here’s another no-no you may want to avoid when complimenting a girl over text:

Using compliments as verbal bribery

You don’t want to use compliments as a means to an end because it can potentially backfire.

And your compliments will likely come across as fake or insincere.

You see, when you have a hidden agenda in your praises, it can make the girl you are complimenting feel used or manipulated. That is not the kind of feeling you want to evoke in a woman you like.

So don’t compliment a girl with the hidden intention of taking advantage of her good feelings to win her favor or get something in return.

Don’t compliment her just because you think it will increase your chances of dating her.

What’s more, if you have ulterior motives behind your compliments, and you give praises as calculated moves, you’ll only damage the trust and rapport you’ve built with her.

And can potentially make her guarded against you.

Therefore, if you want to build a more authentic connection with the woman you’re complimenting, give compliments from a genuine place of appreciation and admiration rather than with the expectation of receiving something in return.

And if you want to make your compliments meaningful, it is better to consider your timing.

Catching her by surprise

When you compliment a girl and it catches her by surprise… it can make her feel uncomfortable.

Here’s why:

If a girl is not used to getting compliments, and you compliment her out of nowhere, she may not know how to respond or react and it can make her feel awkward about it. 

Particularly if she didn’t do anything deserving of a compliment.

Unexpected compliments can sometimes feel insincere or manipulative, too, especially if they come from someone she doesn’t know or trust well.

That’s why compliments can be tricky when you ignore the timing.

So if you want to compliment a girl over text… avoid sending one out of the blue if you don’t want to come across as insincere or even creepy.

It is better to wait for an appropriate moment when she has done something impressive or when she may need a boost of confidence.

Plus sending a compliment at the right moment makes it more meaningful and memorable.

Now it should go without saying but I’m going to say it anyway. 

Don’t disguise an insult or criticism using compliments known as…

Backhanded compliments

If you don’t know what that is…

It’s something that makes you wonder whether the remark was a compliment at all.

For example, saying things like:

• You look great today, for someone your age
• You’re smarter than you look
• You’re pretty strong… for a girl
• You look great in that outfit, it’s slimming

Sure — it can seem harmless or appear positive on the surface.

But it actually contains a negative or condescending undertone and leaves the recipient feeling belittled and uncomfortable because it tends to undermine a person’s confidence, achievements, appearance, or abilities.

That kind of compliment can make anyone feel unsure how to respond, or even embarrassed.

Even if you want to use it playfully, remember that not everyone may see it that way. What may seem lighthearted or funny to one woman may come across as insulting to another.

So if you’re unsure if she will appreciate it, it’s best to err on the side of caution — especially if the girl doesn’t know you that well or isn’t familiar with your sense of humor.

Wrapping up

Compliments are a polite expression of praise or admiration about something. And complimenting a girl over text is a great way to make her feel special — as long as you avoid these common mistakes.

Therefore, it is essential that you consider the nature and context of your relationship with her so you can choose your words accordingly.

You also want to be able to tell if she appreciates your compliments or not. So you can make sure that your compliments are well-received and that you’re not making her feel uncomfortable.

With that said, complimenting a girl over text requires thoughtfulness and sincerity. 

So you want to avoid generic or insincere compliments, overly sexual remarks, and overwhelming her with too many compliments too soon.

In short, the key to complimenting a girl over text is to be sincere, original, and attentive to her needs.

• Be sincere. You genuinely believe what you’re saying.
• Be original. Come up with a compliment she has not heard before.
• Be specific. Tell her what exactly you find beautiful about her.

But sometimes it’s not enough to just be specific, original, or thoughtful with your compliments.

You also want to be genuine in your intentions to ensure your compliments have a positive impact. Because if your intent is to leave her feeling genuinely appreciated and valued, you are sure to make a positive impression, and you can make your connection with her stronger.

Remember: Every girl is different. 

And what works for one girl may not work for another.

So pay attention to her reactions and adjust your approach accordingly.

Because if it contradicts her worldview, she may not feel comfortable receiving compliments, especially if she has low self-esteem or struggles accepting praise.

On the other hand, if you find showing real appreciation difficult to do, and instead of feeling flattered and happy, she feels annoyed and a little resentful…

There are many meaningful ways to express your admiration for a girl and make her feel special. Complimenting her over text messages is just one of them.