After You Get Her Number, What Do You Do Next?

You have her number. Now what?

So you got a girl’s number. Right now, you’re probably freaking out and don’t know what to do with it. (You’re reading this page after all.)

But you don’t have anything to be anxious about. It’s natural to be excited about connecting with THE girl you like. If you don’t know what to do when you initiate contact and get her to have positive feelings about you, you will learn more after you read this page.

In fact, I bet you already know what to do with that number on your phone. You are just anxious right now that you’re petrified and can’t think clearly. So first breathe and keep calm.

Then before you do anything with that girl’s number . . . there is something you have to keep in mind. And it’s very important because it can make or break your chances of creating a connection with her.

What to not do (ever) when you call or text a girl

If there’s one thing that should help you not get blocked or ghosted by any girl is this: avoid calling her four times in a row or sending her multiple text messages without getting anything back.

In short, if she doesn’t give you anything to work on or think about, don’t expect anything more. This shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Look. She’s getting your messages. You can be sure of that. Your texts didn’t get lost on their way getting to her phone. So when you text her, wait for her to return a message. Don’t start exercising your fingers when she’s giving you nothing in return. 

It’s tempting, but don’t do it. Why you ask?

It is a huge turn-off. It shows you don’t know what to do. If you keep texting this girl like a hungry puppy, you’ll begin to annoy her. She won’t reply. And will seem busy all the time.

Don’t overthink

Having her number will make you feel like you’ve got to do something “perfect” for the situation. You want the perfect words, the perfect action, and the perfect reaction. Why? Because it feels like a small slip-up can cost you the chance to be with her—forever.

I’m here to tell you: don’t make a big deal out of it. You’ll only put unnecessary pressure on yourself.

So don’t overthink or worry yourself to no end.

Take it easy. Keep it simple. Chill! 😎

It is normal to be anxious about contacting a new girl for the first time. Totally normal. If you can’t sit still and your mind is running on overdrive, you’re probably thinking of getting rejected and the world coming to an abrupt end.

None of that matters, really. If nothing comes out of it, you’ll get other numbers from other girls. Get over yourself.

Are you worried you’ll come on too strong and make you seem desperate? Don’t be. 

All you have to do is follow what you’ve read here and you should be fine. She won’t think you’re undesirable if you don’t think you’re unworthy. 

You know what helps a lot? Get a bunch of numbers from other girls. Suddenly your mental state shifts from fear and anxiety to carefree and confident. And girls will chase you for that.

Would you overthink as much if girls were the ones chasing you? I don’t think so.

Now that you know what to keep in mind as you stare at her number thinking about what to do next, here’s another question for you:

How’d you get her number?

Just so we’re clear, you did not find it scribbled on some dirty wall, right?

Perhaps you went behind her back. Your or her friend gave it to you after you asked for it, slipped you a paper with her number written on it, instead of having asked her for it. I’m not judging here, but . . . you’ve got some explaining to do if she doesn’t know you have her number and you suddenly started texting her out of nowhere.

However, if you chatted her up and swapped numbers, thumbs up! 👍 And I’ll assume this is how you get ahold of her digits.

Now then — how long have you had her number? Is it still so fresh you can smell her perfume on it? I’m asking because I’m about to tell you . . .

When should you contact her?

Well, guess what? There is no perfect amount of time to wait to contact a girl. There is no such rule written in stone. If you haven’t heard, the 3-day rule is old — and probably dead and buried. And you’re not in a rom-com.

So even if you make contact now, you won’t seem too eager if

you know how to project “cool” like this guy 👉 😎.

Sure you can wait for a couple of days if that is what you want. Give the girl time to think about you and let her wonder why she’s not hearing from you yet; that is assuming she’s interested and attracted to you. Otherwise, letting days go by won’t make her more curious about you.

Decide for yourself on the pros and cons. Just do not attempt to play games with a woman. Don’t make things complicated. 

Like I said, keep it simple.

She’s probably expecting your text or call. She handed you her number for that reason. If she doesn’t want you to get in touch with her, she can use any number of excuses to avoid giving you her number—without being too mean. But . . . know that if you wait too long, that expectation could turn to disappointment. And then to indifference. So don’t hesitate.

If you just got it — like five minutes ago — you can send her a message now. 

What should you say with your first message? 

After a few minutes of getting her number, send her a text so she can save your number if she has not done so.

Think of it like this: when you were talking with her, you used a different “channel.” And now you’re about to switch channels. 

So make sure she has your number saved on her phone, so when you call or text her, she knows who you are, and she doesn’t consider you a complete stranger. An unknown number popping up on her phone doesn’t have the same effect as a name she’s familiar with that brings back the flood of good feelings she had while talking with you.

And . . . give your first text message a bit of a personality, something that will at least paint a smile on her lips. Go here to read moreFirst text message to send after you get her number.

If you want to make an impression . . .

. . . then you should call her.

These days most guys are too scared to dial a woman’s number and call. They prefer texting since it is less panic-inducing. But although it is a much easier and less stressful way to get in touch with a lady, texting also removes a lot of conversational nuances. 

But with a voice (or video) call, you can make yourself come across as confident and self-assured. So if you are going to call a girl, be sure to project control and confidence. Here are some tips for calling girls on the phone

If you’d still text rather than talk, be sure to follow these Rules for Texting Girls.

In Closing

When you get a girl’s number, remember this: her number is not what you’re after. It is just a means you can use to get in touch with her at a later — preferably sooner — time. And arrange a date.

So it is critical that you only send her the right text messages that get her itching for a date with you.


Since you made it this far…

I want to thank you for being a reader…

Click Here to Learn More ➔


Disclosure: My posts may contain affiliate links. That means if you buy something through one of those links, I will get a small commission — at no extra cost to you — on qualified purchases. You have my full appreciation for helping to keep this site up and going for all of us. You can read my full disclosure here.