How to Get to Know Her Better Over Text

If you want to get to know a girl better through text… I have some insights below that may help you.

Here’s the one thing I want you to keep in mind: The key to getting to know a girl over text is asking better questions and paying attention to her answers. Why? That’s because…

The quality of your question determines the quality of her answer, And the quality of her answers determines the quality of the conversation. And so on.

If your question is vague, the answer you get is likely to be unhelpful. Why? Because vague questions leave lots of room for interpretation. While you had something else in mind, she could be thinking about something else. That’s how you get to confusion or misunderstanding.

But with specific questions, you can elicit a detailed, informative answer. Which you’ll find more relevant and helpful.

Which can also lead to follow-up questions and a deeper understanding. And sets the tone for the conversation.

In short, the better you ask, the better you get to know her.

But that’s not all.

As you know, getting to know a girl can help you discover many things about her. Things that can help you decide if she’s someone you want to spend more time with or not.

You get to find out if her gorgeous look is all she has to offer — if she virtually has no substance or… if it is merely the tip of the iceberg.

Either way, this saves you time and many potential heartbreaks. So…

How do you start?

Warm her up with light and casual topics.

You can use small talk questions to start a casual conversation and create a comfortable air.

These questions usually involve non-controversial topics. So it is easy for her to answer. And these kinds of questions can get you started on getting to know her on a surface level.

For example, ask about her day or her weekend. (Do not start with “What’s your biggest regret in life?”)

Other questions you can use to get started are preference or interest questions like “Do you prefer coffee or tea?” or “What kind of music do you like?”

You can let your curiosity drive the conversation. So don’t be afraid to ask follow-up questions and share things about yourself to get things going.

As you get to know her better, you start to find common ground. Those let you build a connection with her when you let her know more about you.

Once you get the ball rolling, you can move on to asking more personal questions.

But… you generally don’t want to ask those deep questions over text. Save them when you can look her in the eye and things start to get really exciting.

By that time, it becomes even more important to know…

How to ask better questions

Keep in mind that you are not in an interview. You are in a conversation. 

And asking better questions is not just about getting to the right answer.

It’s about gaining a deeper understanding and building a stronger relationship with her. So to get to know her better…

• Use open-ended questions to encourage her to share more. Yes-or-no questions lead to dead-end conversations if you don’t follow up.

Open-ended helps you dig deeper. Plus, it encourages her to give more informative and insightful answers. So instead of asking “Do you like sports?”, ask her “What sports are you interested in and why?”

• Ask follow-up questions to show you are interested. And you want to get a more in-depth understanding. Ask clarifying questions when necessary.

• Ask specific questions if you want her to give you a more detailed answer.

Instead of asking “What do you do for work?”, ask her “What made you decide to go into your line of work, and what do you like best about it?”

• Avoid asking intrusive questions that may make the woman uncomfortable.

Instead of asking “Why did your last relationship end?”, ask “What have you learned from your past relationships?”

• Avoid leading questions if you want to have an open and honest conversation. Ask open-ended questions instead so she can express her thoughts freely. 

To know a girl better, asking better questions is a crucial skill to have. Why? Because it lets you create a more engaging and meaningful conversation with her.

Example questions to ask a girl over text

You can ask a woman… 

Questions about herself:

• How is it to be an only child?
• What’s your favorite type of weather and why?
• If you could have any job in the world, what would it be and why?

The kind of interests and activities she enjoys:

• How do you unwind after a long day?
• What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
• What’s your favorite type of book/art/dance/sport/etc?

Funny questions

• If you could have any superpower, but it had to be completely useless, what would it be?
• Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?
• If animals could talk, which one do you think would be the most annoying?

Preference questions

• Beer or drinks? 
• Movie night or party? 
• Star Wars or Star Trek?
• Beaches or mountains?

Click here for more questions to ask a girl over text.

Again: If you’re asking over text, stick to fun questions that establish rapport. Who wants to read walls of text, right?

Save the more intimate questions for later. Ask them when you are way past the initial stages of getting to know her. 

For example, questions that delve deeper into her thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, such as…

• Life questions,
• Goal questions,
• Values and belief questions, or
• Deeply personal questions

… are questions that allow you to get to know women on a deeper level. Result? A conversation you are better off having in person or over the phone.

More tips to get to know a girl better

• Be interested. But you don’t want to come across as anxious or desperate for her attention.
• Balance the conversation. Don’t just ask like an ass. Share your experiences and opinions as well. 
• Open yourself. The more you tell her about yourself, the more she’ll tell you about herself. The next thing you know, you have shared hobbies and interests that you can talk about for hours. 
• Be vulnerable. Talk about your feelings. So she’ll feel closer to you. 
• Don’t be pushy. If she seems uncomfortable with a certain topic, talk about something else.
• Lighten the mood with some humor. And make the conversation more enjoyable.
• Don’t rush things. Getting to know a girl takes time. Let the relationship develop before you start delving into more serious matters.
• Don’t rely too heavily on texting. After you know the basic things about her, take the conversation outside of texting. 

A note on texting: If you tend to be a little shy, texting can make it simple for you to get to know a girl better. But not in the way you’re thinking.

Sure. Texting is easy and convenient. 

But, you only get the content of the message. You lose everything else that’s part of communication — making it easy for misunderstandings to occur. 

That is why it is better to use texting for simple conversations. And use it in tandem with other forms of communication. Texting is best for asking her out, making plans, or sending quick messages.

Here’s what I suggest you do so you can continue getting to know her better:

• Call her on the phone so you can converse in real-time.
• Do things together and share experiences.
• Get to know her family so you get an idea of where she comes from and who she might turn into later in life.
• Get to know her friends. They might know more about her than anyone else.

Remember: Building a relationship takes time and effort. You can’t really like a girl unless you take the time to get to really know her.

But by asking the right questions that prods her to keep texting — you can get there faster.

Just be sure you don’t depend too much on just texting. Ask her out as soon as you’re able to.

Spend time together for more chances to get to know each other better. That way you can delve into more personal topics and build a deeper connection.

Don’t forget to share your life with her so she understands you better and feels closer to you.

Avoid wasting time on someone who isn’t fit for you:

When the text conversation isn’t going anywhere — she is taking too long to respond, she’s not very engaged in the conversation, or when you’re the only one starting the conversation and keeping it going — it is time to move on.

A conversation is only fun if you and she are engaged.

You can avoid losing her attention by always keeping in mind the right kind of text messages that attract women.

Thank you!