Behaviors that Will Kill Her Attraction

If you want to start a romantic relationship with a woman, she has to be attracted to you. Why?

Because you need attraction to set a spark that ignites a burning passion within her.

So you don’t want to inadvertently kill that attraction before that burning passion ignites.

To help you do that, you want to be familiar with what can push a woman away or… make her run for the hills.

When you know the things that can kill attraction, you can thus avoid messing up your chances with your dream girl.

Here is the first:

Coming across as desperate or needy

This should be an evident attraction killer. It is generally seen as an unattractive quality for many reasons. Including:

• It conveys a lack of confidence. And as you know, having rock-solid confidence is generally attractive to women.
• It implies you may struggle with feelings of jealousy or become overly clingy, controlling, or suffocating if you get into a relationship.
• The thrill of the chase, challenge, and mystery often spark attraction. If you are desperate, it removes these dynamics.
• It can make you come across as emotionally unstable. It’s offputting. And makes women uncomfortable.
• It messes with your masculinity. Women are conditioned to want strong providers and protectors.
• Also, it can seem like a ploy to garner her sympathy or attention.

And that’s not even all of it. Just know that being love-starved, approval-seeking, and try-hard smothers any spark of attraction a woman may have for a man. It’s an instinct-level turn-off that can make a woman feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable.

The solution? Lean back. Take it easy. Let things develop naturally.

Another behavior that can kill attraction is…

Being rude or disrespectful

Most women see this as a glaring red flag. Here are several reasons for this:

• Hints at a potentially worse treatment down the line.
• Does not make her feel safe or comfortable. You can forget about forming a connection with her without these.
• Telegraphs his emotional immaturity and poor self-awareness.
• Shows that only his own thoughts, feelings, and wants matter.

In short, this unattractive behavior can indicate more serious issues and a lack of emotional intelligence.

This is why women don’t like it when you look at your phone too much. And they consider it as one of the biggest first-date dealbreakers for them. Because it signals that whatever is happening on your phone is more interesting than trying to get to know the woman in front of you.

Remember: respect is crucial in healthy relationships.

Simple courtesy and politeness can often go a long way in keeping her interested.

Another trait that turns women off is…

Appearing bitter and jaded

Why? Because complaining about everything is an off-putting behavior. And someone who exudes constant negativity is simply unappealing.

Other reasons that this kills attraction include:

• Negativity creates a draining atmosphere
• Demonstrates a pessimistic worldview
• Being stuck in the past implies having difficulty moving on and being present
• Hints at deeper anger issues or inability to let go of grievances
• Shows a lack of self-awareness by not recognizing how off-putting the negativity appears
• Simply not fun or exciting to be around

This is one of the reasons why talking about past relationships on a first date — focusing on the negatives and complaining about it — is generally not a good idea.

You see, in the early stages of getting to know each other, you want to focus on having a fun, lighthearted time together.

So, if you are going to talk about past relationships, frame the conversation around the lessons you learned and how you grew as a person.

Remember: women are drawn to those with a zest for life and a sense of optimism. So avoid letting past hurts define you because being bitter and jaded can kill attraction.

Next, we have…

Owning loose lips

… does not only sink ships, it can also kill attraction. And that isn’t just because you’re monopolizing the conversation. Here’s what I mean:

When you say more about yourself than a woman wants to hear, when you disclose sensitive details about past traumas or financial struggles, or when you bad-mouth family members, it…

• Shows a lack of emotional intelligence about what is appropriate to divulge
• Hints at potential impulsivity
• Can create an expectation of reciprocity and…
• Feels invasive and makes her uncomfortable

Keep in mind that being crass and sharing too many intimate details that can overwhelm her doesn’t bring a woman closer to you. It just makes her feel awkward.

So, avoid sharing too much too soon. And be mindful of what you share about your life as you get to know someone new.

If you are tempted to be totally transparent in a conversation, remind yourself of this phrase: A closed mouth catches no flies.

I’m sure you’ll agree that…

Being humorless, too serious, or stiff

… makes it very hard for a woman to be attracted to you. Why?

Because it creates a barrier, a feeling of distance, and a sense of heaviness in the interaction. Like a mile-thick brick wall that blocks the flow of conversation. And with that, any sense of potential connection.

But that’s not all, because it also…

• Implies being closed off, cold, or uninterested in her, which shuts down any fun vibe completely
• Can make it seem like you are untrusting, which can make it difficult for her to open up and feel comfortable around you
• Makes the conversation feel like a chore or an interview
• Makes you be seen as critical or demanding and makes women feel anxious or intimidated
• Can suggest emotional rigidity
• Potentially makes you come across as arrogant or self-absorbed

Of course, these do not help create an emotionally safe space or make it easy for a woman to relax. Hence, she is less likely to feel she can be herself with you.

Remember: A woman has to be comfortable to let her guard down, so you need some lightheartedness and laughter to ease her tension.

That’s why being able to laugh and loosen up can make you attractive to women. And why women prefer someone who can be fun, lighthearted, and easygoing.

So loosen up. Don’t take things too seriously since that makes it hard for any woman to connect and have fun with you.

Sharing laughter and inside jokes with a woman will help you build fond memories and rapport with her.

Now. I’m going to stop here. Though that’s the case, this doesn’t mean that what you see here are the only behaviors that can zap the life of a woman’s attraction to you (if she was attracted initially). Or utterly quash your chances with her.

There are simply too many things that can kill attraction. For example:

• Lack of confidence can be a major turn-off for most women. If you avoid eye contact, be wishy-washy, and appear unsure of yourself, you will not get far with many of them.

• Next, you have to also consider fundamental incompatibilities. These sources of disconnect can become hard stops for many would-be couples. Significant differences in interests, priorities and goals, lifestyle, beliefs, or values can easily lead to misunderstandings and conflicts, straining the relationship, even when you are strongly attracted to each other.
  
  Sure, you may compromise on minor issues. But for compatibility issues that are dealbreakers, do you really want to change yourself to fit someone else?

• And, of course, making her uncomfortable for any reason can ruin her first impression and potentially her attraction.

Look: Attraction is complex and individual. Multiple factors influence the level of attraction a woman may feel for you. And those include her personal preference.

The beauty about preferences is that what one woman dislikes, another overlooks. What turns off one woman may turn on another. A trait one girl finds boring, others find fascinating. In short, find someone who appreciates you for who you are.

The point is this: there are many reasons why you won’t always match with the girls you meet and interact with. They are the same reasons you need to meet plenty of women and to be genuine and authentic in your interaction with them.

So, please be mindful of these attraction killers. Sure, it won’t guarantee you’ll be fatally attractive to the ladies. But it will certainly raise your chances of killing it with her.

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