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Though some are quick, most breakups can be sad, painful, and tormenting even.
Getting over the heartbreak after a split with a girl you once introduced to your friends as your girlfriend… how do you do it?
How do you get over a breakup?
… That can often happen without your control when the relationship you had is already at the point of no return.
It’s especially distressful when you refuse to let go of a long-term relationship, your ex-girlfriend, and the fun times you’ve had together as a couple. One of the tough parts of a breakup is when a good memory hits you in the middle of the day.
Change can be pretty scary, especially when she’s been part of your life all this time. While getting a fresh start seems like an impossibility right now, everyone can recover from a breakup.
How do you move on?
What you’ll read below are some strategies for getting over a breakup that have worked for other people and could also work for you.
Getting over a breakup is never easy, but you have to move on (even if you don’t want to) if you don’t want to be trapped in the past for the rest of your life and if getting your ex back is not an option. Some breakups can take some time to get over with so there’s nothing wrong taking the time you need to heal.
The pain and grief of a breakup is no joke. Especially so if the breakup happens to be recent and unexpected; you’ll feel this mess of saying goodbye both in your mind and body.
Give yourself some space
To make your break up a little easier… give yourself some time to think alone. Acknowledge your feelings of sadness, anger, and hurt. Don’t try to bottle them up or pretend that you’re not hurting.
Don’t contact your ex in any way. Seeing or talking to your ex can make things harder. Give yourself some space and stay away from your ex completely for a while. There’s also nothing wrong with binge-watching a TV series for a couple of nights. Just don’t make it into something of a regular thing.
Even though it may bring you some relief, unhealthy coping will often only add new issues to the situation you are in.
Spend some time in self-reflection. Examine your past relationship and write down some of the things you feel are important. This can teach you a lot about yourself, your goals, and the things to look for in others.
Breakups happen for a reason
During this time, you can think also of the reason why you two broke up. According to a study, the top reasons couples leave a relationship are issues with a partner’s personality, breach of trust, and partner withdrawal. (3)
If it’s your decision, don’t think about what could have been. Don’t second-guess yourself. Every relationship has its good and bad side, though, in this case, the bad overwhelms the good. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
Whatever the reason your ex became your ex, it may be better for you to cut your losses and move on.
Accept the situation and don’t blame anyone for the breakup. Accept your responsibility if you’ve made mistakes and caused the relationship to deteriorate. But don’t blame yourself for the past, instead try to keep that in mind so you don’t repeat it in your next relationship.
Time can help you move on
It can help you let go of the memories. And after some time, that feeling starts to fade as you do other things and meet new people.
This is also a good time to have your friends around. Having them around will keep you from thinking about what happened and they’ll help you cheer up and move on. Talking to a friend or anyone else you feel comfortable with can help you process your emotions.
You can also do different activities and find new pleasures in life with them. Do the things that make you happy and fulfilled.
You don’t have to be stuck doing the same thing that reminds you of your ex. This is the perfect time to do something different. If you’ve always wanted to try something new, take this chance to do it.
Keep yourself busy
You could be going on a trip, tackling a new project, or just keeping your body fit and healthy. Moving your body and exercising will help you with your mood, block depression, and keep you from thinking about the breakup. That means doing something that’s quick-paced to keep your mind focused.
If you use your free time after a breakup to start a new hobby or hone a new skill, you’ll help yourself ease the pain, boost your confidence, and expand your mind.
You could sign up for a piano lesson. Mastering something new will keep your mind busy and keep you from following your ex’s every move. As you know, that is just a few clicks away with social media. And if the temptation is strong to stalk your ex, it’s probably better to break your online relationship as well.
It may seem like a good idea to stay as friends, but that is not always the best choice. It may be possible later on but not right after a breakup. Only consider it after you have some perspective on the situation. (Or if the romance simply faded and you’re really just friends now.)
Do something to release all that pent-up frustration and hate. Even small things will help to let go of those negative emotions. All those negative emotions will not help you move on and get over your breakup.
Release it in some way, accept the situation, and think of the future. What some people do is talk about it to anyone willing to listen; friends, family, co-workers, etc. It can be a relieving experience when you’re sharing it with someone who has gone through something similar.
But don’t let this continue for long. One time should be enough to help you move forward.
Furthermore, when they know what’s happening, they can greatly help keep you from thinking about it by inviting you to a lot of things with them.
Forget about what happened in the past no matter how good or bad it feels. Think of it as starting over again with someone new and more exciting than your previous relationship.
Getting over a breakup takes time
You don’t have to expect to feel better overnight. You can take things one day at a time.
Getting over a breakup, no matter how devastating, can be liberating. Take it as a learning experience to live for yourself and better yourself. Use the breakup as a chance to grow. Travel. Spend more time with friends and family. Try something new and exciting. Keep yourself busy.
Meet new people and realize there are many who could be more compatible with you. Socializing can be a great way to meet someone new, and the change of scenery will make you remember how good it feels. Your brain will be craving these feel-good moments after a breakup, so get out and spend time with peers who make you happy.
If you can spend more time appreciating the beauty around you, the less time you’ll have focusing on the breakup.
Focus on what’s good in your life; eventually, things will return to normal. Taking the time to care for yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically reaffirms that you’re awesome.