If you’re reading this, I’m assuming you’re attractive, kind, make people laugh without trying, can parallel park confidently, and can cook something that isn’t cereal.
People tend to assume you’re mysterious because you’re quiet and have that thoughtful expression like you’re contemplating the Dao De Jing; you’re actually wondering if your laundry detergent is causing that itching. When you make self-deprecating jokes, they somehow come across as deep.
I’m assuming these things don’t bother you that much, but the following does:
Every group hangout results in someone’s friend asking for your number. Then you hear her Spotify playlist is named after you.
You open a door for a woman, and suddenly there’s a handwritten note in your left jacket pocket about your kind eyes and the “way you exist.”
You smile at a girl and the next thing you know she’s planning your wedding in her Notes app.
There are only so many unsolicited love poems a person can take that even romantic sunsets are tired of you inspiring love songs.
So if you don’t want anything to do with something that forces you to share your fries, you’ll be thrilled to know that this page will make it so that when romance looks at you, it quickly checks its watch and says, “Actually, never mind.”
To get started, use these strategies to make sure infatuation never has a chance
Build an uncrossable moat and make sure crossing that moat isn’t worth the effort. And only lower your drawbridge for pizza deliveries.
To prevent sparks from flying and accidentally igniting, take your respect for personal space to a whole new level.
- Maintain a distance that suggests you’re not entirely sure you’re in the same social circle.
- Don’t give her special attention. Just treat her with the neutrality of someone you met at work.
- Ensure a buffer zone of at least one empty seat when sitting together.
- When she shares exciting news, give her a polite “Cool.”
- She tells you something she accomplished? “That’s nice.”
- She writes you another love poem? Tell her the meter is off.
If any girl attempts to get close to the warning sign that reads, “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here”, employ this subtle strategy:
- Lean against the wall at a forty-five-degree angle and give one-word answers to every question like a brooding lead in a noir film who seems to be having a very slow-motion allergic reaction or perhaps a mid-stroke.
- Avoid eye contact at all costs. Stare at the ceiling or that fascinating spot on the wall behind her left ear.
- She somehow gets your number, and you see a message that says, “Hey! How are you?” at 1PM? Respond at 10PM four days later with a ‘sup?’
- Make the conversation feel like you’re texting while driving a bulldozer on a cliff.
By having an uncrossable moat, any would-be romance turns back at the gate. You’ll never have to worry about writing a breakup text.
If she somehow pole-vaults past the impregnable moat and parachutes straight into your inner circle…
There is no need to be grumpy and sit like a cursed prince who has rejected three kingdoms and one brunch invitation and smiles only when legally required. You’ll only make people wonder whether you have just escaped from a mental asylum, a haunted train, or an unfinished government program.
For all is not loss.
Now is the time to activate the following anti-infatuation measures in your arsenal. Don’t waste time, and quickly…
Rush the progression. One of the least-kept secrets to sabotaging any potential romance is to not let things grow naturally. So while you still have the chance to do these things, skip all the build-up and crank the romance dial up to eleven from the get-go; any interest will be instantly vaporized and will have her questioning every life choice that led her to that moment.
- Before you’ve even figured out her last name and favorite color, bring a bouquet big enough to need its own chair because nothing says “run for the hills” like an expensive-looking present for someone you barely know.
- Insist she change her relationship status to ‘Taken” before the appetizers arrive on your very first date. And discuss potential baby names before you agree on dessert.
- Refer to her as your “Mon Cœur” to waiters, Uber drivers, and anyone within earshot. And flood her with a tidal wave of adoration that would make even a soap opera villain blush.
- If she gives you a chance to profess your eternal devotion, or before a judge could sign a restraining order, hire a skywriter to declare your devotion over a crowded beach.
This pre-emptive move guarantees things never get off the ground because she’ll be searching and sprinting for the nearest emergency exit.
Be an open book. If you are too mysterious, you risk leaving women wanting you more. You must do the opposite: become an open book with no cover.
Give her an onslaught of TMI in the first meeting. Start with your medical history.
- Share the saga of your recurring toenail fungus, your childhood bed-wetting years, and your three-year struggle with a mild gluten sensitivity.
- Move on to your deepest fears (clowns at commitment ceremonies), your most embarrassing moments, and a thorough rundown of your digestive irregularities.
- Spice things up with your uncle’s conspiracy theory podcast and your aunt’s collection of haunted teapots.
- Confess your secret dream to become a professional yodeler, then describe your exes in vivid detail.
Overshare early, overshare often, and she’ll know you better than your therapist. By the time you’re done, she shouldn’t be wondering what you’re like; she should be wondering how to leave the room unnoticed.
While you’re at it…
Flaunt your not-made-up fortune. Brag about a lifestyle that would make Bond villains jealous, and you’ll come off as delusional, insufferable, or both. Not even your imaginary butler could salvage that.
- Casually mention your offshore accounts at breakfast, your third yacht at lunch, and your exclusive island in the Bahamas by dinner.
- Drop hints about the time you gave investment advice to a royal family, or how you once lost a small fortune in Monaco and barely noticed.
- Don’t forget to brag about your personal sushi chef, your pet tiger named Sir Whiskers, and the importance of a morning routine that involves ice baths and screaming into a mirror for spiritual alignment.
Text her as if your life depends on it. If you can make sure she knows you have no life outside your phone, you’ll be amazed at how quickly she loses interest and blocks your number.
- Reply to her messages before she’s even sent them.
Don’t know what texts to send?
- Bombard her with memes featuring characters from forgotten ‘90s cartoons, inside jokes from Scandinavian game shows, or viral moments from discontinued toothpaste commercials.
- Sprinkle in GIFs of vintage cereal mascots and references to Y2K tech support hotlines for good measure.
Or make sure she never misses a pivotal moment of your breakfast routine.
- Send her a selfie with your cereal, a close-up of your toast, and a play-by-play of your omelet flip attempts, complete with slo-mo videos and motivational music.
Push for constant interaction and ignore her need for space. It is important that you don’t give her the time to fantasize about you or the space to create a fairy-tale romance in her head, which will end up creating intense attraction and connection for you so bad you may have to check yourself into the nearest rehab center that doesn’t allow visitors at all times.
- Let her know you’re always “just in the neighborhood,” even if you live across town.
- If she hints at wanting some space, immediately offer to help her rearrange her furniture—twice.
Make yourself so predictable and unchallenging that you’ll evaporate from her radar of romantic fantasies.
Neediness kills attraction, guaranteed.
Dodge every signal and miss every cue. When the air gets a little charged and conversations start to linger, act like you have the emotional intelligence of a golden retriever who has just been hit in the head with a tennis ball.
- “Really? I thought we were just friends who got coffee every week and talked about our feelings and occasionally made eye contact for too long?”
- “Wait, you like spending time with me? That’s nice! I enjoy spending time with my dentist too.”
- If she wears something nice, say, “Interesting choice.”
Refuse to go deep. Dodge emotional depth like it’s a dodgeball tournament and you’re the defending champion. Sidestep her vulnerability like a pro to ensure any budding connection is stopped in its tracks.
If she dares to open up and share something personal, drain the meaning out of the moment, and dissolve it like it never existed.
So when things start to feel intimate or meaningful, initiate a topic change that’s so smooth she questions whether the moment was ever there at all.
- When she reveals a childhood fear or a secret hope, respond with, “That’s wild! Anyway, have you seen my collection of novelty spoons?”
- She mentions something like “I’ve always wanted to visit Italy,” nod, and say, “So anyway, I’ve been thinking about getting new socks.”
- She starts telling you something about how she’d been struggling with her family situation: listen, put your hand on her shoulder, and say, “That’s rough, man. Hey, have you eaten? I’m hungry.”
Never share your own feelings or stories in return. If things get too real, fake a phone call from your dentist or suddenly remember you left the oven on.
Be her safe space, the kind and supportive good friend who listens without judgment and gives her genuinely good advice.
- When she mentions she’s been thinking about going on a date with someone else from work, expecting you to show something like jealousy… “Really? That’s cool. He seems like a good guy. You should definitely go for it.”
- When she complains about a frustrating day at work, provide a bulleted list of actionable steps to optimize her workflow, making her feel like she’s in a performance review with a middle manager who cares more about the process than the person.
- If she disagrees, argue to prove her wrong. Never let her have the last word. You’ll ensure the only thing sparking between you is a heated debate.
Casually mention your ex at inappropriate moments, not with bitterness, but with wistfulness.
- “That reminds me of something my ex used to say”
- “My ex actually loved that restaurant.”
- “My ex had this weird thing where she…”
Tell jokes only you find funny, preferably in the middle of an unrelated conversation.
Have a laughing quirk where you laugh at inappropriate times, like in the middle of a serious conversation or a funeral.
Despite all your efforts, sometimes a woman manages to bypass every barrier and becomes your dog’s new best friend.
Suddenly, she’s rearranging your furniture, folding your laundry, making sure your plants get watered, and restocking your fridge with foods you didn’t even know you liked. It’s time to bring out the big ones.
Surrender the captain’s hat. Outings, conversations, plans for the weekend: just lean back and let her steer the ship as you bob along.
This move is pretty effective in making many women lose respect and attraction at any stage of a relationship, even in committed relationships. Pretty soon, your wife or girlfriend will be more than happy to kick you out of her life, for good. And all you have to do is be undecided as a squirrel in a nut shop.
- When she asks, “What movie should we watch?” respond with, “Whatever you want!”
- She asks, “What do you want to do tonight?” Say, “Whatever you decide!”
- If she says, “I’m not sure about this,” say, “You’re right, I’m not sure either.”
- If she pauses for input, fill the silence with, “I’m good with anything!”
- If she changes her mind, do a synchronized about-face like a loyal sidekick.
The final pull (or push). At any point in time, if you sense she’s starting to pull away, becoming less responsive, or losing interest, don’t let her go.
This is the time to double down on attention and grand gestures. This is the time to try even harder and go all out. This is the time to make it clear how much she means to you. Because nothing chases away a fading spark like clinging to it with both hands and feet for extra grip.
- If she doesn’t reply within five minutes, send a follow-up “Hey :)” text… and then another.
- If she cancels plans, immediately schedule three more and a prepared speech on why “we” make sense.
Pull her back, and you’ll push over the edge. Refuse to let go when she pulls away, and you’ll make sure she’s not just running, but sprinting out of your life.
Finally!
Follow these tips, and something miraculous will happen: women will stop falling for you. And even if they do, there will be a falling out in no time.
Then you are free…
Free to exist without being someone’s romantic prospect.
Free to go to the grocery store without running into three different women who’ve written sonnets about you.
Free to maintain friendships with women without the constant undercurrent of unreciprocated feelings.
WHAT? Already changed your mind?
If you want a proven way to get THAT girl infatuated with you, check this out before she slips away for good.
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