No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover shows Nice Guys how to stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in love and life.
If you are a “Nice Guy”, the principles presented in this book will change your life.
And this will probably be the most important book you read this year.
However, before you grab your own copy of the No More Mr. Nice Guy book, you should first see if it is relevant to you. Because if it’s not, even though you’ll still get a lot out of it, I don’t think it’s going to be of that much use to you.
Is This Book For You?
Are you a Nice Guy?
Read the following descriptions below and see if they describe you…
You try to attract a woman and her sexual favor by being nice. There was a moment in your life you decide that maybe by being “nice” you will stand out from the “other” guys.
You believe you are different from other men because you treat women with honesty and respect. You think these traits set you apart and should attract women to you.
You can’t understand why, even though you treat women well, they all seem to be attracted to jerks.
Your greatest joy in life is making other people happy. The word ‘no’ just isn’t in your vocabulary. You like the feeling of being needed. You are someone whom everyone turns to when they need something.
You have many female friends who often call you to share their problems and tell you what a great listener you are. What’s more, they constantly tell you what a great “catch” you will make for some lucky woman.
You avoid doing something because someone might get upset at you. You avoid dealing with a situation because… it might cause conflict.
You say “yes” when you would rather say “no”. You avoid subjects you know will make another person angry. And you hold back your feelings because you don’t want to hurt anyone.
You believe that if you take one more step backward, the other person will quit pushing. After an argument with your partner, you are always the first to apologize.
You spend just about every waking moment trying to figure out how to get out of the relationship without hurting your girlfriend or looking like a jerk.
You have struggled since adolescence with an addiction to pornography. You spend hours every day looking at sexually explicit websites on the internet.
You masturbate compulsively, often three to four times a day. You are terrified that if anyone ever finds out the truth about your sexual compulsions, your life will be destroyed.
You often offer the following defense: “I didn’t lie, I just didn’t tell everything.”
You have consciously or unconsciously tried to be different from your father and/or other men.
You’re just not comfortable with other men. You don’t know what to talk about.
You do whatever it takes to make a girl happy: give her gifts, try to fix her problems, and arrange your schedule to be with her. You will even tolerate her bad moods, rage attacks, addictions, and emotional or sexual unavailability — all because you “love her so much.”
You suffer from the age-old problem of looking for love in all the wrong places.
When you try to end a relationship, you frequently do it too late and in indirect, blaming, or deceitful ways.
Odd as it may sound, you find many creative ways to avoid sex. You never directly initiate sex. You think that if you were too direct in letting them know you wanted to have sex, they would think badly of you.
You pride yourself on being a good lover. You are focused on the arousal and pleasure of your partner.
You believe that a woman would be lucky to have you while simultaneously wondering why any woman would want you.
At some time in your life, you have tried to eliminate or limit some problematic sexual behavior. Or some aspect of your sexuality has caused a crisis in an intimate relationship.
You are terrified of asking for help. You believe you have to do it all yourself.
You waste time, procrastinate, start things but don’t finish, distract yourself with trivial pursuits, and make excuses.
Nice Guys seek approval, avoid conflict, seek the “right” way to do things, gives, fix and caretake, make their partner their emotional center, hide their perceived flaws and mistakes, repress their feelings, try to be different from their fathers, more comfortable relating to women than to men, and have difficulty making their needs a priority.
Having one or two of these traits is normal.
But if you feel that a majority of these traits talk about you, you definitely should continue reading.
What’s Wrong With Being A Nice Guy?
How can being “nice” be such a bad thing?
Well, “nice guys” are really not so nice.
Everything Nice Guys do or say is, at some level, calculated to gain someone’s approval or avoid disapproval.
Especially true in their relationships with women.
They can be dishonest and secretive. They’ll say what they think people want to hear and will hide anything that they believe might upset anyone. And they resort to manipulation when trying to get their needs met.
This creates a constant need to try to control the people and things around them.
Their giving often has (unconscious and unspoken) strings attached.
Their repressed rage deep inside tends to erupt at some of the most unexpected and seemingly inappropriate times. They tend to express their frustration and resentment in indirect, roundabout, and not so nice ways. Then they repeat the same annoying behaviors even when they have promised to never do them again.
Their intimate relationships are frequently a source of struggle and frustration. They often feel like helpless victims and see the other person as the cause of the problems they are experiencing.
That makes it difficult for people to get very close to them.
Their addictive behavior serves the purpose of relieving stress, altering moods, or medicating pain.
They are either dissatisfied with their sex life, has a sexual dysfunction (can’t get or maintain an erection, climaxes too quickly), or has sexually acted out (through affairs, prostitution, pornography, compulsive masturbation, etc.).
They fail to live up to their full potential. They suffer because they avoid new situations, stay with the familiar, procrastinate, avoid, and fail to finish what they start, or make a bad situation worse by doing more of what has never worked in the past.
As a result, because of these negative traits, Nice Guys tend to swing back and forth between being nice and not-so-nice.
So if you are a Nice Guy, how you can you stop seeking approval and start getting what you want in love and life? Well…
Becoming A “Jerk” Isn’t The Answer
Rather it’s becoming able to accept all aspect of yourself, warts and all. That you are perfectly imperfect.
But this doesn’t mean just trying harder to be a good man. Instead it’s embracing a totally different way of viewing yourself and the world, a complete change in your personal paradigm.
As you’ll learn, these paradigms developed based on the inaccurate interpretations of your experiences when you were young, naïve, and relatively powerless.
And to transform yourself from resentful, frustrated, helpless Nice Guy into assertive, empowered, and happy individual involves…
Doing something different!
And No More Mr. Nice Guy presents a proven and practical plan to show Nice Guys the most effective ways to do something different by applying the principles within.
You’ll find numerous Breaking Free activities throughout the book.
They will not only help Nice Guys understand where their paradigms came from but will help replace them with more accurate and up-to-date ones, effectively guiding them to break free from the negative effects of being a Nice Guy.
These assignments have worked for countless men and it can work for you or a loved one. And will point you in a direction that will help you start doing things differently.
It is also essential to find safe people to assist you in this process.
Though it is possible to break free from the negative effect of being a Nice Guy without the help of a group, it is the most effective tool you can use for facilitating the process.
And when you decide to make the change, interesting things will begin to happen.
You’ll start to…
- Accept yourself just as you are.
- Begin to feel more powerful and confident.
- Stop seeking the approval of others.
- Create the kind of intimate relationships you really want.
- Deal with problems directly.
- Learn to express your feelings and emotions.
- Face your fears and find peace with the changing complexities of life.
- Have a fulfilling and exciting sex life.
- Embrace your masculinity and build meaningful relationships with men.
- Live up to your potential and become truly creative and productive.
- And many more…
Anyway, here’s a sample of…
What You Will Learn
The early chapters introduce the “Nice Guy” through examples, characteristics, their not-so-nice traits, and the Nice Guy paradigm.
This is followed by an exploration of the Nice Guy attitude and how the pieces fit together. From child development, the progression from little boys to nice guys, to the series of social changes that created three profound dynamics that contributed to the widespread phenomena of the Nice Guy Syndrome. Dr. Glover makes a pretty convincing case.
And the rest of the chapters shows you the most effective ways to start getting what you want from love and life.
- The 3 negative consequences of seeking the approval of women.
- How to stop feeling like a helpless victim and reclaim your personal power.
- Why a person’s rough edges and human imperfections are what give others something to connect with.
- A state of mind in which a person is confident he can handle whatever may come… that not only successfully deals with problems, challenges, and adversity, but actually welcomes them, and meets them head-on.
- Why women have a tendency to be attracted to “jerks”. And what they’re really attracted to.
- How having male friends improves their relationships with women.
- A number of reasons why Nice Guys have difficulty getting the love they want.
- Why intimacy feels life-threatening for Nice Guys and why the demands of intimacy represent everything Nice Guys fear most.
- Why Nice Guys find people who are equally wounded and also have difficulty with intimacy.
- A question that will help you see if you have been putting up with something that you shouldn’t.
- A number of traits to consciously look for when creating new relationships.
- The two issues that directly link to the difficulty Nice Guys have with sex.
- Why women. even though they may be initially drawn to a Nice Guy’s pleasing demeanor, over time find it difficult to get excited about having sex with him.
- 5 reasons why pornography is bad for men.
- Numerous reasons why Nice Guys tend to be less than they can be in life, work, and career.
- How trying to do it right, striving for perfection, seeking external validation and approval, attempting to hide flaws and mistakes, keeps Nice Guys dissatisfied, bored, or unhappy with their life and vocation.
- A plan that has already helped countless Nice Guys discover their passion and live up to their potential.
- How to become aware of why you unconsciously create so many barriers that keep you feeling stuck.
And much, much more…
Like how to see the world as a place of abundance, discover your passion and live up to your potential and create the kind of life and vocation you really desire.
I knew about No More Mr. Nice Guy years ago. However, the title didn’t really give me any reason to want to pick it up and read it since I don’t really consider myself a “nice” guy.
I know the reason why women weren’t attracted to “nice guys” as well. So why read it? Well, I read a book that recommended it again. And since it’s been recommended so many times by others, so why not?
As I read more and more and go through each page, I started to realize something — I have more in common with the Nice guy in this book than I thought.
And I’m not alone.
Reading what others thought about this book made me realize I’m not the only one.
Perhaps after you read it, you’ll feel like the author is writing about you. It can be downright scary when you feel like this book can see right through you and the sentences in the book will leave you slack-jacked, swearing, and even in tears.
Like a mirror reflecting your life story back at you, it exposes you for who you really are. Your life comes alive and you find yourself in every chapter and almost every page,
Reading the truth about yourself will be a hard pill to swallow but it will be one of the best things you’ll do because you’ll start to do some deep reflection. You’ll begin to recognize and accept the truths in your life.
It can be comforting to understand why you’ve lived your life the way you did for so long.
And it will help you to be more mindful about the mental mistakes and patterns you’ve been making. This increased self-awareness can even help you discover issues you had no idea you possess.
Like pieces of a puzzle that starts falling into place, this will help you begin to understand why you’ve struggled a lot in your life and help you make the necessary change.
And like most other nice guys, maybe you’d wish you found this book years ago because it would have saved you a lifetime of bad decisions.
You could’ve started being aware of the ways in which you seek approval, become more comfortable just being yourself, and begin to look more attractive much earlier.
Well, it’s not too late to make the change and take responsibility for creating the kind of life you really want and become all that you were meant to be.
Start getting what you want in love and life.
The only thing stopping you from having the kind of life you really want is you.
Click the button below to grab your copy of Dr. Robert Glover’s No More Mr. Nice Guy!